Sunset Hours

A New Desire

2012-01-27T08:57:00.000-06:00

Over the past several years, I've written a new year's post nearly every January. A few of them have only made it to my journal, but for me personally, and probably for many of you, it is the time of year to evaluate priorities, and set new goals. It seems nearly without fail, God speaks some sort of theme into my heart for the following year, meant to be meditated upon, pursued, and applied. This year has been no exception, though the tardiness of writing about it hasn't been so exceptional. I guess one can only write, though, as thoughts are formulated, and this has been at lengthy process for me, yet one that I pray will continue without ceasing this entire next year and beyond.

Several weeks ago, God placed a question in my heart that has grown to cover a wide spectrum of application, but it started out small. "Who do you want to be known as?" In facing reality, most of us would have to admit that our reputation means a great deal to us, and we are usually at least somewhat concerned about the ramifications of our actions and life upon it.

At one point in my life, my goal was to be known as a great piano player. I had aspirations of attending a prestigious music conservatory, and launching into a career of fame and excitement. My life reflected that desire. Hours were spent every day pursuing that goal, and already at a young age, my aspirations were being somewhat realized. I was known as a teenager that was passionate about music, and was willing to go to great sacrifices to excel at this art.

Later on down the road, after the Lord had done a great work in transforming my life and setting my heart on pursuing Him, my goals changed again. Music to the degree that I was pursuing it was laid down, and I started to pursue after the One who had changed my heart so drastically. Those first years were a series of ups and downs as I waded through countless opinions and ideas of those around me as to what true Christianity and spirituality was. I grew to look up highly to certain individuals, and gradually, my goals changed again - this time to something much more righteous sounding. I now wanted to be known as a great and spiritual Christian.

Those next years were ones of great wrestling, because as we all know, the ideas around us of what a great Christian is, are as varied as the personalities that walk the street. To one set of people, I was labeled as an ultra-conservative and radical, and to the other, worldly and liberal. To the degree I set myself to please and placate those around me with proof that I was indeed walking with God and sensitive to His Spirit, the more my confusion grew. Truth seemed to not take on as definitive of a form anymore, and I found it much easier to walk with many gray areas in my life. It pleased and satisfied the most people, you know!

I can't put my finger exactly on when my mindset began to change, but it's only been recently that I've been able to put word and thought to it. As God asked me that question pointedly a few weeks ago, "Who do you want to be known as?" in tearful surrender, I realized that only one thing mattered. Only one thing was worth pursuing after. And that one thing was loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I realized that truth and righteousness was perfectly represented and embodied in a Person, and that Person, Jesus Christ, wanted every ounce and bit of my affections and pursuit.

As I've pondered the people who have most affected my life over the years, I've realized that there is one outstanding characteristic that sets them apart from everyone else. It's not the way they dress, it's not what music they do or don't listen to, it's not what church they attend, and it's not what a great soul-winner they are. True, these things may have momentarily make an impression on me, but it's not what I thought about later on. The one thing that set them apart is that they loved God. It was written over their lives. They didn't need to be prompted to speak of Him. He was at their center, and their consumed passion with Him streamed out of their lives as easily as water flows through a creek bed.

Those kind of people make me thirsty. Thirsty to know God better, and they bring to the forefront of my mind the words of Paul, when he cried out in a single-hearted desire, "Oh, that I may know Him!" (Phil. 3:7-10) 1 John's central theme is that having a love for Christ is the foundation to knowledge of Him - it is the very proof and outworking of our knowledge.

Truth is not head knowledge, it is a Person. If I come to end of my life, and am known merely as a woman that had all her I's dotted and T's crossed in moral character and appearance, who had every doctrine in the Bible figured out and followed, and who lived the disciplined life of a saint, I would consider my life a great failure. When Paul said, "I count all things but loss..." he meant all. He was saying that if anything shines at the forefront of his life other than Jesus Christ, it is a devastating loss.

My prayer for this new year, and for the rest of my life, is that all those things in my life that I see as Biblical truth would be dim and nearly unseen behind the greater testimony that my life is lived, consumed with pleasing, and in love with one Person. That His approval is all that matters because He is the One I love the most.

Designed to produce salivation

2012-01-12T20:20:00.000-06:00

If any of you out there have never experienced the joy of baking, I will be the first one to say that is nothing in the kitchen quite so satisfying. At the top of my list, is homemade bread. Apart from being SO much healthier, there is nothing you can buy at the store remotely similar in taste and quality.

I remember as a young child, buying our first Bosch machine, and our family delving into the world of grinding flour, kneading dough, and shaping loaves. If I remember correctly, we would always make 6 loaves, and only four would ever make it into bags. Almost immediately upon leaving the oven, we would slice open two of the steaming, fragrant loaves, slather them in butter and honey, and make a meal right there. Even to this day, I have a hard time resisting that crackly crust on the end of the loaf, still piping hot with butter melted in for a snack.

I dare you, if you've never tried making your own bread, try it, and you may just get hooked too. :-) Following is the recipe I've grown to love over the past few months. Moist, SO flavorful, and long-lasting. I never store my bread in the fridge, and this easily lasts a week without molding, and still is incredibly moist and tender.

Thanks to some friends, I came across this recipe in a cookbook they gave to me for a bridal shower gift, and it had become my all-time favorite.


I always write in my recipes if I've done an alteration or really like or dislike it.

I like home-ground flour, I'll admit it. :-) Right now we are fortunate to have one that (sort-of) works, and I'm hoping once it completely wears out we'll be able to replace it. If you as well have the option of grinding your own, I've found a half-and-half mix of hard red wheat, and hard white wheat to work the best. Using just red wheat creates a lot of complication in obtaining a nice rise which equals fluffy wheat, but it also adds a nuttiness that I wouldn't want to trade by using just white wheat. I find the balance works well, and as I made a note in the recipe, I usually use 1-2 cups of white flour in place of the wheat. 100% whole wheat bread is rather tricky to get just right, and I find this eliminates a lot of complications. One other note concerns the wheat gluten. This makes such a huge difference in whole wheat bread, I try to never be out of it. A good rule of thumb in any wheat recipe is 1 Tbsp. per loaf. If you've never tried it, be prepared to have your bread baking revolutionized! :-)


This machine was one of the most generous wedding gifts we received. We use it nearly daily!

If you don't have a Bosch or mixer, this recipe would be easily kneaded by hand.

The nice, pliable lump of dough when it's finished kneading.

This recipe says 6 loaves, but with my size pans, I always do 4.

I use to have problems with big holes in my bread until a bread taught me to roll it. I found it made such a difference, I don't do it any other way now.

Make sure to roll it tightly to eliminate a hole at the very beginning.

Tuck the ends under, and it's ready for the oven.

I like to put mine to rise above the vent in the oven while it is warm.

I could have let this rise a bit longer, but I was running short on time and considered this good enough.

Hot out of the oven and brushed with soft butter.

Now if that doesn't make your mouth water, I haven't done my job. :-D

Brokenness

2011-12-28T10:44:00.000-06:00

Brokenness is not a feeling or an emotion. Rather, it requires a choice, an act of the will. Further, this choice is not a one-time experience. True brokenness is an ongoing, constant way of life. True brokenness is a lifestyle - a moment-by-moment lifestyle of agreeing with God about the true condition of my heart and life - not as everyone thinks it is, but as He knows it to be.

Brokenness is the shattering of my self-will - the absolute surrender of my will to the will of God. It is saying "Yes Lord" - no resistance, no chafing, no stubbornness - simply submitting myself to His direction and will in my life.

Brokenness is the stripping of self-reliance and independence from God. The broken person has no confidence in his own righteousness or his own works, but he is cast in total dependence upon the grace of God working in and through him.

Brokenness is the softening of the soil of my heart - it is the breaking up on any clods of resistance that could keep the seed from penetrating and taking root. Believers with broken, contrite hearts are receptive and responsive to the Word.

As wax or clay must be soft and pliable in order to be molded by the artist's hands, so the broken, contrite heart is easily molded by the hand of God and does not harden itself against the circumstances God choose to mold it.

-Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Brokenness: The Heart God Revives

Our Wedding - Part 2

2011-12-19T20:59:00.000-06:00

The morning of August 27th dawned early for me, and I woke up with a smile, grateful for a good night's sleep, and hardly able to wrap my mind around the fact it was actually the day. The day I had been waiting for much of my life, and dreamed of so many times. I don't even remember what was on the menu that morning, but a vague recollection of some sort of breakfast casserole given by some friends seems to stick out. Whatever it was, I don't think I was very hungry. :-)

It was incredibly special for me to have a couple dear girlfriends staying at our house that weekend. One of my bridesmaids, a photographer, and personal attendant/bridal table server combined to make a group of girls that were not only helpful, but so fun. We piled into our vehicles around 8:30, and headed for the church to get ready. The next hour and half was like a whirlwind in one sense, and relaxed in another. I bought my dress from this company and enjoyed the un-complexity of the zip-up back. I chose a simple hair-style, and these factors combined to create a stress-free, fast dressing session. I enjoyed mingling with the musicians that were at the church early to practice, and the different family members also there preparing for pictures.

Our photographer, Seth Haley, arrived at the church around 9:30. He caught a few prep pictures, and then the bridal party headed to a near-by park to take pictures. One of the most satisfying things for me was to have these dear bridesmaids around me that I had chosen in my mind for at least two years before our wedding. Having friends that stick with you through thick and thin is something to be greatly treasured. Having Laurissa, Janelle, and Amy so close around me that day is something I look back with great fondness.

Laurissa - I had to wait nearly 9 years for a sister, but God gave me a treasure in the one He blessed me with. In my earlier years, I often bemoaned the fact that she was so much younger, but she grew up so quickly into a beautiful young lady that quickly locked herself in my heart as one of my closest friends. She continually inspires me with her servant's heart, her sweetness, her enthusiasm for life, and her patient, uncomplicated way of dealing with situations that would would leave me completely stressed out in frustration. I often say that when I grow up, I'll be satisfied if I'm half the woman she's already proven herself to be.

Janelle - I was acquainted with this dear mom-of-four 3 years or so before we really started to get to know each other, but once we broke through those walls of natural reserve, we discovered in each other a soul-kinship that has grown incredibly deep over the years. Janelle is not only a friend that challenges me with her unwavering joy, servants heart, submissiveness to life's difficult circumstances, and spunky love of life, but one that has cried and shared with me through some of the hardest season's in life that I've walked through. I can never hide anything from her, and her knowledge of some of the tenderest things of my heart only endears her more to me!

Amy - Other than my sister, Amy is probably the longest standing friend I have ever had. We met very shortly after our family made a huge move to a different state, and although our friendship has grown slowly over the past 10 years, it has proved itself to be a solid, and lasting one. Amy has always had the gift of a listening ear, and is a friend I can always count on for prayer. Never have I been more grateful for modern technology as now, as many, many miles separate us as she serves the Lord in India. She is one of those sorts of friends that I would travel around the world to see many times over. Lord willing, Joel and I will get to do that some day.

My two other chosen bridesmaids were sadly not able to attend our wedding. My dear friend Megan Knapp from Alaska had a baby shortly before our wedding, and Cheri Cross had college commitments in Georgia. Their absence left a hole, and years before I never would have dreamed they couldn't be there to share the most special day of my life. Life does move on for all of us, though, and I am incredibly excited to see God's directing hand in their lives, and their faithfulness to follow His will.

Also around me were so many other dear friends that I hardly have space to mention here. Photographer friends, bridal table servers, decorators, kitchen helpers, and servers, musicians.... Each one played such a vital role, and my biggest regret about our wedding is that I couldn't spend the time with each one the way I wanted to.

I'm going to close this post with an assortment of pictures taken by Seth of our bridal party. We had a blast, and Seth did such a wonderful job of putting us all at ease, and capturing the moments that were so special. :-)

All pictures taken by Seth Haley except #1 and #2 which are credited to Linda Newman.

Where do you run?

2011-12-10T09:16:00.001-06:00

The frigid wind bit my lungs as my husband and I walked into St. Boniface Hospital in Winnipeg, MB. I pondered the long winter ahead, the breathtaking wind chills Manitoba is famous for, and my own warm-weather-loving bones. A slight sigh escaped my lips as I wondered how quickly the next 2 1/2 bone-chilling months would pass by.

A minor ailment called us to the clinic, and I was well equipped with my Bible, laptop, journal, and a good book to pass by the couple hours I knew we would be there. I found a Tim Horton's downstairs, (Canada's wanna-be Starbucks) and curled up in a comfortable corner with my coffee and paraphernalia scattered around me. With the cultural diversity of the large city, I hardly needed my things to keep me entertained. People watching would have quite sufficed.

The slight, Oriental nurse sat across from me, enjoying her break, and the newspaper sitting on the table. Next to me at a small table four senior citizens explored the in's and out's of the latest town gossip. A brown-robed, rope-belted, heavyset priest waddled toward the pharmacy in search of who knows what. Across the room I watched two young men. One was a perfect picture of the hippie movement, and the other sported a neon blue mohawk. Obviously, they considered whatever they were talking about quite humorous. Behind me I heard Spanish, clear German accents were all around, Chinese came from another corner, and a sprinkling of French was faintly heard here and there.

In the midst of the hubbub, constructions workers from a near-by project coming in for coffee, and the many family members waiting, a lady caught my eye. Obviously a patient, she was dressed in a thin cotton robe, and pushed ahead of her all of her IV equipment. Memories of the awkwardness of this from my last year's gallbladder surgery made me wonder what prompted her descent from her hospital room. With only a thin, see-through plastic rain-coat covering her robe, she stepped outside into that breath-catching frigidness of winter. With a -25c windchill outside, I knew she must have some sort of important mission. As I watched her breath made steam clouds in the air, my questions were soon answered as she fumbled with a lighter and cigarette. One word crossed my mind as I sadly watched her endure the elements to get her fix. Addiction.

My mind traveled back to a series of meetings Joel and I had just sat through, in which the speaker had talked about this very thing. He brought out the fact that most of us are addicted to something. As I've thought about this over the past few days, many sad realities have crossed my mind as I ponder the culture around us. Apart from the obviously destructive addictions like drug abuse and alcohol, creep in subtle ones that most of us don't see any danger in. Money, entertainment, fashion, food, compliments and acceptance from others, leisure, caffeine, shopping, TV, and social networking.

An addiction usual develops through either a lack of self-control, or a real, or perceived need in our lives. I think it is safe to say that an addiction is anything we default to for a "fix" when we are feeling low, lonely, discouraged, or worthless. The dictionary brings in an element of devotion. It's usually the first thing to get done on our list, or perhaps we don't even put it on our list, because habit dictates that we never forget it. We feel an emptiness if it is missing from our lives.

The question begs to be asked. Where do we turn to when we feel needy? Is it God, His word, prayer, and godly friends and counsel, or it is something that gives us a temporal, feel-good high, and leaves us crashed, burned and more needy afterwards. Are we finding our fulfillment in lasting habits and activities, or in the ONE who never changes? Have you asked yourself lately, where do find your satisfaction?

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

Sweet Endings....

2011-11-24T22:38:00.001-06:00

...to a simply lovely evening. Thanks to sweet Canadian friends who were willing to come over and help this American celebrate her favorite holiday. :-)

Source: tasteofhome.com via Andrea on Pinterest

Thanksgiving Ponderings

2011-11-23T08:49:00.001-06:00

I'm living in Canada. Tomorrow is not Thanksgiving here, but let me tell you, this US girl is still feeling the holiday pull. Quite honestly, celebrating here in the middle of October just didn't feel real. I mean, it was still warm, and, well, just too Fallish! It felt somewhat like it was kind of a pretend, make believe game. People here say the same thing about our Thanksgiving. They can't imagine celebrating it with snow on the ground and Christmas just around the corner.

Thanksgiving has always been a special season for our family. I can say quite truthfully that I looked forward to it more than Christmas in many ways. For me, it always marked the beginning of a cozy, family-centered winter, with free times scheduled around books and hot cocoa, games nights with cider and snacks, or outdoor activities such as ice-skating and family snowmobile trips. It marked the end of a busy gardening and family music schedule, and promised a little more time to breath and enjoy life.

It's bothered me over the past few years how much Thanksgiving seems to be overlooked. Stores and yards seem to go immediately from ghoulish Halloween decor straight to a Christmas theme. Our country as a whole seems to give the same impression that Thanksgiving is a fairly insignificant blip in the middle of the week, and merely an excuse to enjoy a day off of work and a big turkey dinner.

My intent is not to make a big deal out of nothing, but it's caused me to think a lot about gratefulness over the past few weeks, and wonder if that character trait is also one that is largely overlooked. In a country abounding with more wealth than 90% of the world can even dream of, discontentment and complaining are stunningly real and everyday with most people.

I've been mulling over a quote I read a couple weeks ago, and really praying the Lord would apply it to my life.

"A thankful heart makes everything enough."

I guess the connection between gratefulness and contentment had never hit me quite in that way before. If we're honest with ourselves, it doesn't take a lot of effort to want something different than what we have. Cultivating a spirit of discontentment does not take a lot of work. But contentment can really be just as easy to cultivate if we start making habits of looking at life through a grateful set of eyes. Not a whole lot of thinking is needed to to discover how much we really have.

Let's remember, that at it's root, gratefulness stems from a trust, and surrender to God, believing that He has given us everything we need to glorify Him best. Let us take hold of this, and implement the exhortation given in Hebrews 13:15 -

"...let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name."

You might find yourself surprised at how blessed you really are!

Our Wedding - Anticipation!

2011-11-10T20:27:00.001-06:00

The week before our wedding surprised me. Everyone told me it was going to be crazy, hectic, stressful, and exhausting. That I was going to be so tired by my wedding day that I would just want to crawl into a bed and sleep for a week. I was expecting this, and even with all our planning, and my mom's incredible organizational skills, I wasn't holding out for a relaxing week before.

I remember the feeling so clearly that Monday morning. Mom and I looked at each other, and said, "Are we really done?" We could think of very little that we needed to do yet! I had a few last minute thank-you cards to write, and final packing for my move and honeymoon, but that was virtually all! We had worked, and worked, and worked so hard before the wedding, that when that Monday-before-the-big-day hit, we all as a family felt that we could literally breath a sigh of relief, relax, and just enjoy our last few days together. None of us were expecting this at all, but it turned out to be one of the greatest blessings that could have happened.

Joel drove in Wednesday evening, and as the hour drew near for him to arrive, I sat on our front porch steps, watching, waiting, and snapping beans. Yup! You read right! Our garden was by no means taking a break for our wedding, but that was normal summer life, so I don't consider that wedding-related busyness. :-)

So, as the late afternoon sun filtered through the leaves, I snapped, and snapped, and dumped my bucket of finished beans a couple times, and waited. That last 30 minutes before he arrived during our courtship always seemed SO long, and this time was by no means an exception. Joel did eventually arrive in good time, despite my impatience, and as we beamed at each other and enjoyed a hug, all we could say was, "No more goodbyes this time." It was a wonderful feeling!

Thursday morning Joel and I spent in town buying a few last minute things, and arrived back just in time for lunch and for my flowers to arrive by Fed-Ex. Now, I'm going to go on a rabbit trail about flowers, so if you aren't interested, just skip the next two paragraphs. ;-)

I chose cream and lavender roses, antique purple hydrangeas, picasso calla lilies, and babies breath, plus some assorted greenery. Before planning my wedding, I honestly had no clue whatsoever what flowers would cost. When I first walked into a florist shop and inquired about ordering un-arranged flowers in bulk, the prices nearly took my breath away. The cheapest of those that I was thinking of were roses @ $3.50 a stem. Mind you, I said the cheapest, with hydrangeas soaring near $10 a stem. I knew I had to find a different option, especially considering my centerpieces were also going to feature flowers.

To make a very long story short, I traded time for money, and spent literally hours online researching the best options. It was worth it though for $0.79 roses from Globalrose and a case full of greenery and baby's breath from Sam's club. Weddinghydrageas is a company out of California that had the best prices I could find, (though hydrangeas are expensive anywhere!) and Bloom's by the Box had the mini Picasso calla lilies I was looking for. It was a bit of hassle ordering them from four different places, but I literally saved hundreds doing it this way. Another thing I did to cut down on prices was to look for nice silk flowers or arrangements in my colors at thrift stores and garage sales. Silk flowers are also very expensive, but I knew if I could find them this way, they could be used as filler for my centerpiece bouquets and nobody would know the difference. All in all, I would say that if you have a friend who knows how to arrange flowers, try this option! I have no regrets with any of these companies.

A dear friend of mine came in Thursday afternoon and prepped these buckets full of flowers for me, while Joel and I headed out to door to go pick up my florist friend from the airport. That hour and half drive was a wonderful time to just relax, and enjoy the last few quiet moments together before the big rush. This "florist" is a dear friend of mine from NC who flew out just to arrange flowers and decorate for our wedding. This was a HUGE blessing, and I can't imagine a professional doing a more beautiful job than she did. Tasha has incredible talent!


Tasha (far right) headed up the decorating with Letha and Hannah assisting.

That evening held a bridal shower for me hosted by my bridesmaid's, and it was so wonderful to have so many of my close friends there. NC, MI, MN, WI, and Ontario were represented, and it was a sweet evening of fellowship, games, a delicious meal, lots of gifts, and a powerful devotional that encouraged reliance on Christ no matter what season you are in.

So many seasons were represented there.... A busy young mom with children, a married friend waiting on the Lord for children, engaged, and single girls yet waiting on the Lord for that godly man they dream of. I appreciated the fact that this devotional touched each of us in a special way, which it can really only do if Jesus Christ is at the center. Sara did a wonderful job at bringing that out.

The beautiful Victorian Tea the girls prepared.

Though exhausted from the evening, I could not sleep. That's just me, though. When excited about something, or when I have a mind-full, my brain will just not shut off. So, I tossed, and turned all of Thursday night, and was thus quite exhausted the next day. That was one thing I wished I could have changed, but it was what it was. God's grace was sufficient for even that, though I did feel I had to mentally shake myself out of brain-fog the entire next day!

Friday morning found me fairly early at the Sykora's, where Joel was staying, as were our wedding coordinators, with the lady of the house being one of my bridesmaids. :-) Because our wedding coordinators were from Canada, we had to wait until last minute to go over all the details with them. This took a good couple hours. First, though, came the biggest feast of a breakfast I have seen in a long time, followed by a short time of reading Scripture together and singing. This was a special blessing for me, and calmed my heart for the rest of the day. It didn't get us to the church until nearly noon, but it was worth it. :-)

Decorating the guest book table

The decorating and preparation was already in full swing, and I could hardly believe how many people were there serving, and throwing their hearts and talents into making our wedding possible. Cooking a rehearsal dinner for 70 and half the food for the nearly 400 guests the next day (we had half of it catered) was no small feat. Arranging bouquet centerpieces for 50+ tables, turning the gym into a reception site, and the 4 bridal party bouquets was an all-day project. It surprised me HOW much work it took, but also how smoothly it went. For myself, I was merely running around all afternoon answering questions and giving details. It was a slightly overwhelming feeling at times to be on my way to do one project and to be caught by three different people at the same moment all needing things. :-) I didn't quite anticipate that, but I suppose it was quite normal, just a bit tiring. :-)

Answering texts from bridal party members that were lost! :-)

Antique jars waiting to be filled with flowers and candles.

Who would've thought a gym could look so pretty!

Though it felt for awhile that things weren't going to get done in time, they did, the rehearsal went fine, and the dinner afterward was lovely. It had been a long-time dream of mine to serve a nice rehearsal supper as a thank-you for all those that put so much effort into preparing and helping out. Our friends John and Linda Marvin, and Gena Borntrager were largely responsible for making the meal of BBQ ribs, almondine green beans, garlic baby red potatoes, and garlic bread a possibility. We went simple for dessert, and served brownies and Chocolate Shoppe's "Heaps of Love" ice cream. Folks, seriously *the best* brand of ice cream that is possible to create. :-)

Practicing for that big moment. :-)

The church we were renting had the policy of being out of there by 8:00, so the evening was not too late. I was grateful for that. Upon arriving home, I got a shoulder rub from one of the 3 girlfriends that was staying at our house that evening, a hot cup of "Sleepytime" tea, and a soft bed. Many were praying that I would sleep that night, and their prayers were heard. I woke up Saturday morning feeling quite refreshed and excited for the biggest day of my life!

Photo credits: Seth Haley, Christian Gawin, Linda Newman, Ryan Hoshor, and Janelle Sykora

The Gateway to Glory

2011-11-07T19:44:00.001-06:00

My mind travels back to a little over two years ago. After two trips deep into the recesses of the Copper Canyon region of Chihuahua, Mexico, and discovering that a piece of my heart landed there, I was considering the invitation to make a longer term trip back there. Much of me wanted to go, parts of me held back. What was God's will? Where was I supposed to spend my time, efforts, energies, and prayers?

Over the course of the next several months, these questions pressed hard upon my heart, forcing me to the throne of God. For answers. For directions. For clarity of vision. For purpose.

There were times I felt like I praying in a brass-lined room. My prayers and desires seemed to bounce back, with no rhyme or reason, no finger-writing on wall, no sense of peace either way. So I sought harder. I surrendered myself deeper. My prayers became more earnest, and my times of seeking God more real.

Did the answer come in a flash? Did some sudden moment of revelation break through the clouds, and stun me with a blinding clarity? Did the months of waiting suddenly seem as nothing, and the fruit of them quickly becoming apparent?

In looking back, my answer has to be a resounding "no." Peace gradually replaced questions with the gentleness of a morning sunrise. Uncertainty turned to answers, as God slowly put pieces together. But more important than the eventual clear direction that I was seeking, was the realization of what God had done in my heart during the process. In this months of seeking Him, God taught me a valuable lesson of what it means to hunger and thirst after Righteousness. (One of the attributes and names of God.) He taught me the reality of the statement:

What you are becoming while you are waiting, is infinitely more important than getting there.

Do we believe this? When answers are not straight-forward, do we give up in despair, accepting the subtle lie that God is really not concerned about our everyday details, or more importantly, the yawning, uncertain future that sometimes seems to press us down with the weight of the unknown?

In the past few days, I've been meditating on this concept of waiting, and the suffering that it sometimes involves. Some of Nancy Leigh DeMoss's teaching in the recent weeks have tied into it as well. Some of the thoughts she shared were a spring-board for what I'm going to write, so I would encourage you to go listen to her whole series if you are walking through one of these particularly difficult times in life and need some encouragement.

One of the statements she made jumped straight out of my speakers, and hit my heart.

Waiting in and through fiery circumstances with a heart set on God only burns away the cords that bind us. (Fiery Furnace)

What sort of cords? As I thought through God's refining process in our lives, self kept coming to the front of my mind. "Christ in me, the hope of glory," and "Not I but Christ" is God's ultimate goal for us, therefore some of those cords that bind us can rightly be named as:

Cords of selfishness.
Cords of self-love.
Cords of self-reliance.
Cords of self-pity.
Cords of a self seeking, or worldly mindset

Our natural human tendency is to run away from suffering, to resist pain, to do everything in our power to escape hardship. Think about it. In reality, doing this cuts short the refining process God wants to take us through to root out these tendencies in us. Consider with me that the most scathing rebuke in the New Testament is given to Peter when he seeks to turn Jesus' face away from the cross. Whether it be a catastrophic tragedy, heart-rending circumstances, waiting when there seems to be no moving or answer from God, or simply the daily cares and trials of life that seeks to wear us down, the principle remains the same. The cross is God's gateway to glory, and to prosper in our walk with Him, we must embrace whatever God sends our way.

If we will take time and consider the multiple principles laid out through Scripture, we will realize that on the other side of that cross is everything we are looking for. Remember it is promised that a momentary affliction will produce eternal fruit. (11 Cor 4:16-18) If we take this by faith, there is nothing that should hold us back from rejoicing in tribulation, Only a worldly, "here-and-now" focus on life will thwart God's purposed in our life.

The biggest question then must be asked. Are we willing for God to bring us through whatever it takes to work in us the refining that He sees as needed? Can we take our eyes off of the momentary pain or uncertainty we are facing right now, and focus on the eternal fruit God has promised to work in our lives through it? We are being fashioned through these things for greater fruitfulness here, and for a better place above where we will at last be made perfectly into the likeness of the One who is fashioning our life according to His perfect understanding. We Can Trust Him.

A Happy, Random Post

2011-10-31T19:33:00.001-05:00

I can't think of a season in life when I've been happier. God's blessings are too numerous to count, and I'm living out a life-long dream, with my best friend/husband by my side. With two months of marriage behind us we are finding life to just get sweeter, and our love to grow more deeper and true.

A few random snippets from life here in windy Manitoba

- Keeping a house and figuring out a cleaning schedule

- Trips to Winnipeg; an extremely culturally diverse city

- Eating at an Ethiopian restaurant

- Inviting friends over last minute for dessert

- Trying to decide what paint colors to buy for the walls

- Purchasing piano books for my soon-to-be students

- Having time to practice piano

- Trying all sorts of new recipes, and learning to cook many of the German and Oriental dishes that are so popular here

- After dark walks with my husband around town

- Enjoying all sorts of pop-in visitors

- Fetching laundry off the lawn that the wind blew away

- Budgeting and grocery shopping

- Sorting through the hundreds of wedding photos, and deciding which ones to print

- Gradually working on the 130 thank-you cards to write

- Enjoying quiet mornings with my Bible, memory cards, and a cup of coffee

- Counting my blessings daily!

Many have asked for more wedding photos, so I'm pondering the thoughts of doing a "Wedding Series" here soon. There were so many details that made that day so perfect and fun. Some days I wish to go back and re-live it all. It was truly a whirlwind day, and so often on August 27th, I wished I could make time slow down and savor every little moment to it's fullest. In ways, I'm doing that now with the photos.

Many thoughts have been wandering up and down the hallways of my heart these past few months. Lessons in this new season of life seem too numerous to even try to write about, yet I'm wanting to capture some of them to savor, meditate on, and record. Sometimes I think it's laziness that keeps me from writing more here, sometimes it's a feeling of inadequacy to truly portray my thoughts, other times it's just a letting-go in lieu of other priorities. All that said, I do want my appearance here to be more frequent. God's faithfulness has been so sweet and real, it deserve a more public mention. :-)

One of the things I love about being married....

2011-10-27T20:15:00.000-05:00

Source: favfamilyrecipes.com via Andrea on Pinterest

Is having the time to try all sorts of new recipes! Joel and I *loved* this one, and I'll be making it again without question!

Our Wedding Song - written by my family

2011-09-27T12:25:00.001-05:00

The weekend we met.

Archie’s coffee stand, refreshments on her mind.

What would this all lead to, to this she was blind.

*see bottom*

Who is this girl? Conversation did abound!

The lemonade he gave to her led to a wedding gown.

Chorus: Life’s road ahead, however God will lead.

Mountain tops or valleys, the joys they will see.

Two hands held tight, heart’s joined forever.

Andrea and Joel will travel down life’s road

together.

<3

Our first picture together.

His first visit came, both nervous as could be.

But he fit into our family, God’s hand we could see.

A restaurant in Fort Francis, precious words he did say.

And now we’re here to celebrate their wedding day.

<3

Life's road ahead, however God may lead;

Mountain tops or valley, the joys they will see;

Two hands held tight,

Hearts are joined forever...

Andrea and Joel will travel down life's road together.

*The weekend we met and the picnic table we spent hours visiting at. Joel's sister knew her brother well enough, and snapped this picture, saying to her husband - "This is for their wedding powerpoint." And yes, we are drinking free lemonade from the stand. :-)

All photos except the 1st, 3rd, 4th, 9th, and 11th are credited to sethhaleyphotography.com. The 4th photos credit goes to Linda Newman.

Happy

2011-09-20T08:45:00.000-05:00

2011-09-04T09:41:00.002-05:00

I don't have time to blog - we are enjoying newly married life and our trip up to Canada! For anyone who wants to see some pictures, our pianist and a dear friend of mine wrote a post here. Blessings!

One year later....

2011-08-08T15:47:00.003-05:00

Life and Wedding Plans

2011-07-10T16:36:00.001-05:00

Well, I'm slightly amused as I log into blogger for the first time in weeks. The entire template has changed, and I'm not even sure if I'm in the right place. I guess it just goes to show how long it's been since I've blogged. Blogger has moved on without me, obviously not caring to notify me, and not aware of the fact that I did intend to blog again at some point. Oh well... :-)

Wedding plans are falling together more and more as the time goes on, and we are now under 50 days in the countdown. I mentioned at one point I wanted to share a bit more of our story here. It's now written down, and available to read at our wedding website.

My camera had been sadly sitting in it's case for weeks on end now. The flowers beds are in sad shape. My piano hasn't seen quite so much neglect, but nevertheless, I am looking forward to the day where I can concentrate on more than wedding sewing, planning food for 350 people, flowers, and the thousand and one other details that come with planning a wedding. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the process, but it does have an end goal, right? I am looking forward to that goal. :-)

On a sobering note, amidst the planning, I have had some good sobering reminders that are helping me to keep my focus on the truly important things in life. A couple months ago, our family headed over to Grandma and Grandpa's to celebrate one of my sister's birthdays. We had an especially good time there, as we sat around the table eating ice cream and playing several hilariously good rounds of Yahtzee - Grandma's favorite game.

I went away that evening, treasuring the last couple months at home and the opportunities that were at hand, and knowing that these game nights at Grandpa and Grandma's were limited. Little did I know, that was the last time I would in likelihood play Yahtzee with Grandma. Before seeing her again, she suffered a massive stroke while in the hospital waiting for gallbladder surgery. Life has changed dramatically for her, for us, and for all that love her. We are praying that God restores some of what has been lost. Until then, we wait, we love through the trials and changes, and we thank God for the many wonderful years we had with her and whatever He still chooses to give. It's been a sobering reminder to cherish the gift of life, health, and family that God gives.

Details for a somewhat vintage theme decorating scheme keep coming together. Joel and I enjoyed a tremendously fun photo shoot with a friend, and came away with some delightful pictures for our invitations. A Source of Joy Graphics designed the invitations, and all I had to do was address and sticker the huge stack of them. It was so much more fun than I originally anticipated!

Just a couple sneak peeks of details... :-)

An incredibly cute idea I found the other day for a guest book.

Dream bouquet. I'm hoping my friend is able to recreate it!

Mason jar centerpieces!

Ok, enough for now, or there will be not surprises left. It will be interesting to see how all these ideas and plans flow together, but I'm confidant with the help of some dear friends and corresponding talent, things will be just right. ;-)

I can't guarantee if this blog will be touched in the next 48 days of busyness. :-) Perhaps I'll find some extra minutes and inspiration like this relaxing Sunday afternoon provided, or perhaps the next time you will hear from me will be MB.

A nugget to chew on in the meantime. This has challenged me continually over the past couple weeks! God's blessings to all!

You cannot live a life full of the Holy Spirit unless you live a life of daily dying to self and the flesh. The way of the cross is the way to a Spirit filled lived. - Zac Poonen

Sewing and more sewing...

2011-05-29T20:22:00.001-05:00

Yards of crepe and lace....

A willing friend's help...

And lots of time and patience...

And we now have most of our family's sewing done! This was probably the most overwhelming project for me, and when Elizabeth offered a weekend's assistance, I was more than willing to accept!

After only a few hours of dreaming, drafting, cutting, and sewing, we had an encouraging start!

By that evening, we anticipated only a couple hours more the next day.

Elizabeth also lent her talent to design up the
bridesmaid dress I had in mind.

Lots of fun details that I wouldn't have been able to do by myself!

And at long last, little girl's dresses fit for a princess.

And those princesses can't wait for the big day. :-)

And just for your information, neither can I. ;-)

Martin Luther

2011-05-08T08:59:00.002-05:00

All thy desires....

2011-04-09T17:23:00.001-05:00

So, it was a bright sunny day sometime around 6 weeks ago, and I was working on one of the first major wedding details. Finding a church large enough for our wedding. I quickly discovered this was not a small project. Finding a building with both a sanctuary and reception site that was large enough in the same building did not even seem possible, and renting them separately was out of the question too expensive. Feeling rather discouraged and overwhelmed with this important detail, I heard the ding of my inbox.

It was from a family friend. As I quickly scanned what she had to say, my mind raced back to six weeks previous.

A dear friend and I were going shopping together. As we happily discussed exciting details of the future, she asked me if I had thought much about a wedding registry, and if I was planning on putting china on my list. To be honest, I hadn't thought much about it - especially the china thing. China was never a big thing in our house, and it was something that was rather low on my priority list. The more I thought about it though, the more I became a bit intrigued with the idea, and thought I would starting keeping my eyes open for a particular set if I decided to put it on my registry.

So, we happily skipped around town to this store and that, and ended up landing in a very large, well-known thrift store. This thrift store is connected with a homeless shelter in that city, therefore, much is donated of quality, especially in the line of furniture and household items. As we browsed the store, I spotted a china set on a prominent display, and examined it with quite a bit of interest. Delicate, blue, not gaudy, and totally "me," I thought, "Wow, if I do decide on asking for china, I want something like this. It crossed my mind to buy it, but the price was still rather steep, and I finally decided it would be the wisest to leave it there.

As I scanned this e-mail, I couldn't help thinking about my experience in town. This friend was explaining how that she had just inherited some china, and as they thought about a possible use, I came to mind. They were wondering if the pattern would interest me, and if so, would Joel and I accept it as an early wedding gift?

I didn't know what to think until I saw it, so at my request, she sent me pictures. Tears filled my eyes, and my jaw dropped open when I realized it was the same antique set I had just looked at a few weeks previously. With place settings for 10-13 people, this gift was beyond what my mind could comprehend, and in the midst of trying to take this in, I heard this soft, still voice whisper to my heart.

"See how much I care for you? This was a small detail - something unnecessary, yet I saw the desire of your heart, and cared. I cared enough to bless you with something special, a little luxury, something to carry with you as proof of My love and interest in your life."

I realized that my frustration with finding a church was plain and simply put, a lack of trust, and I took this as a reproof and encouragement from the Lord. Since then, He has blessed again and again and again with proof of His care and concern with these "little" details in life.

A church has been provided with more than adequate space and half the cost of anywhere else. I had given up hope on being able to hire my dream wedding photographer, and the Lord has abundantly answered. Bridesmaids fabric has been bought with an equally amazing story behind it. The list could go on. I know it's going to continue to go on as well. Seeing the Lord's leading hand has not only been a huge blessing, but tremendously faith-building as well.

Oh yes He care, I know He cares!! (Even about china. :-)

The one thing to seek after...

2011-04-02T20:21:00.001-05:00

Yes, it's been a long time since I've written. I'd like to say that my writing inspiration is always consistent, and that it's only busyness that keeps me from it, but that's not always the case! I think I'm going to have to resign myself to updating when that inspiration hits, and also when that inspiration correlates with the needed time on my hands! I can't guarantee what the next several months and beyond are going hold in relation to this blog, but it is one of the lowest things on my priority list at this point, and I'm sure it's going to reflect that.

Since Joel and my engagement, life has been one continuous whirl of activity. Between my normally hectic Spring work schedule, there has now been wedding planning filling in all my unscheduled time. Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I see my to-do list growing faster than what I've accomplished, but everyone keeps telling me to relax, enjoy the process, and not get too stressed out. I'm trying, and most of the time succeeding. :-)

Lately I've been thinking about priorities. What are my goals in life? I sat up late last night, and forced myself to take a good stock of where my time and attention is going. Granted, with busy seasons comes many responsibilities, but does my number one goal in life change? It shouldn't.

My number one goal is not having a perfectly planned wedding. It's not any one of the number of things that clamor for my attention day in and day out. It's not even in fulfilling the long desired for season of marriage. Seasons change, responsibilities shift, and time moves on, but my inner life will not move on if I don't keep that #1 priority in focus.

Knowing God. Loving Him with my whole heart. Living day in and day out, moment by moment for eternity. For the things in life that will really matter in the long run. In this push-button, fast-food, microwave world, I oftentimes find it a struggle to do what it takes to makes this a reality in my life. There is no "connect with God" button I push during my times with Him that guarantee instant results. Waiting before God takes time. It takes a surrender and an acknowledgment that He is my number one need, and that He is my fulfillment. Having that as a reality in my life is what makes it possible to fulfill my daily life and responsibilities glorifying Him.

I was blessed this last week by the lyrics of a song a friend shared. Can I pray this? It is my desire that this be my heart's cry now and always.

Whatever it takes

To keep me tender toward You

Whatever it takes, Lord

I beg You to do

Whatever You must lead me through

Whatever it takes, Lord ... do

Spring busyness

2011-03-17T22:28:00.000-05:00

Whoever dreamed life could get so busy, SO fast. Literally, I returned from my last trip to see Joel running, and have hardly stopped since. Inspiration for blogging has come at the most inopportune times, (YES, I have had inspiration!) when I can hardly spare time to tackle the necessary correspondence that seems to be flooding me these days. The inspiration has remained though, and is waiting for a more convenient time to let itself out in writing.

Stay tuned. I haven't forgotten I have a blog... :-) I'm looking forward to putting to pen some of the thoughts and events of late!

I said yes.... :-)

2011-03-01T14:29:00.002-06:00

More details to come. :-)

Manitoba Trip

2011-02-20T20:38:00.000-06:00

Ok, for all you Canadians, (and others) that have just been waiting for a picture post of our trip up to MB, here it is. I don't feel there's tons of great ones, but honestly, who feels like carrying a camera around on dates with your guy? So, the camera was delegated to my sisters for the most part that weekend, and that is what I have to work with. :-)

Our trip up was beautiful, and without incidence. Through it all, it really hit me what a huge sacrifice Joel makes nearly every three weeks driving all the way down to WI! From the 90 minutes of driving in WI, aaaaalllll the way across MN, and all the way up ND, the border crossing, and 30 minutes in MB, it's a LONG drive!!

For our family, add the frequent restroom stops, magnified by coffee refills at many of them, ;-) and it gets even a bit longer.

Happy smiles across the miles.

Finally crossing the border.

Settling into Joel's house for the weekend was a delightful change. After having spent all of our time together thus far in the States, I was thrilled to see his world, meet his friends, visit where he grew up, and experience the church fellowship. All was a super sweet blessing!

The kids lost no time in setting up one of their
favorite games!

Canada = skating. We love it anyway, so this was a huge treat!

A house full of company Sunday evening gave me a great opportunity to rub
shoulders with some of those that Joel is closest to. I learned real fast the
Canada has some pretty special people!

Lots of laughs, smiles, and a greater growing in friendship and love!

Words can't express our rejoicing in God's continued leading in our lives. The past six months have been some of the richest in my life, and I feel that daily I am learning in new way the meaning of the verse,

"...this is the LORD; we have waited for Him, we will be glad and rejoice in His salvation."

Isa. 25:9

At long last.....

2011-02-10T10:56:00.000-06:00

Every last passport has arrived and...

WE ARE GOING!

I can hardly keep my feet on the ground. :-)

The Delight of Discipline

2011-02-08T11:29:00.000-06:00

"My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him." Hebrews 12:5

"Do not quench the Spirit." (1 Thessalonians 5:19), and do not despise Him when He says to you, in effect, "Don't be blind on this point anymore - you are not as far along spiritually as you thought you were. Until now I have not been able to reveal this to you, but I'm revealing it to you right now." When the Lord disciplines you like that, let Him have His way with you.

Am I fully prepared to allow God to grip me by His power and do a work in me that is truly worthy of Himself? Sanctification is not my idea of what I want God to do for me - sanctification is God's idea of what He wants to do for me. But He has to get me into the state of mind and spirit where I will allow Him to sanctify me completely, whatever the cost.

-Oswald Chambers

‎"Behold, blessed is the one that God reproves; therefore despise not the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but He binds up; he shatters, but His hand heals."

Job 5:17-18

Blank Pages Filled With Hope

2011-02-04T19:29:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite things in life is a new journal. The fresh, crisp pages draw out the writer in me like few other things can. The unwritten lines beg wanderings from my curious mind. I particularly love the theme of the new one I just started a few days ago.

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow."

Most often, I have thought of that phrase as pertaining to grace to meet the trials and testings ahead. It struck me the other day, though, that it is because of Christ's death and resurrection that I can look forward to the joy's that this year will hold with hope also. Without that, even the greatest of human pleasures and blessings would be tainted by the bitter gall of human lostness.

Because He lives, I can be confident that those new, blank journal pages will reflect God's perfect plan for my life. Through joy and pain, He will still live, and there, I will still have hope. What a Saviour!

Pressing Forward

2011-02-01T20:15:00.000-06:00

It was a crisp, snowy evening. Not too cold, but nippy enough to warrant a heavy coat, gloves, hat, scarf, and the works. I was up for a challenge that evening, and coerced my sister into joining me on an attempt to walk two-and-a-half miles in a pre-determined amount of time. We bundled up good, grabbed a flashlight to alert coming cars of our presence on our back country road, and set off walking. Fast.

For the first while, our heavy breathing prevented much conversation. We were intent on reaching our first checkpoint in record time, and we didn't waste energy on anything unnecessary.

Success. 7 minutes.

To walk a mile in 15 minutes, we knew we had to reach the next goal by 13 minutes. We upped our pace again, and expressed how glad we were it wasn't summer. The clothes under our jackets were damp by now, and the slight breeze blowing on our faces felt refreshing rather than chilling as it did at the beginning.

Was it really possible to do this without jogging? We were honestly starting to wonder, but we pushed ahead as fast as our legs would go to find out. We ended up successfully reaching our goal within 20 seconds of our hoped for time. We walked another 1/4 of a mile, and turned for home, aspiring to do it in the same amount of time.

By this time, our breathing had regulated enough to start visiting. As the hill ahead approached, my legs started burning, and I was grateful for my sister's quick pace that motivated me to press through the pain and keep up with her. I mentioned this to her, and she looked at me in surprise, and said she was just thinking the exact same thing. We started realizing that we were inspiring each other to do what did not come easily, and to keep pressing on to our goal. The end result? I ended up walking that two-and-a-half miles five minutes faster than any other time I had walked it by myself.

So what am I getting at? Simply put, it's this. We need each other. When I'm walking alone, it's easy for me to start daydreaming and lose focus of my goal. As I tire, my pace tends to slow without even realizing it, and I lose valuable minutes that ultimately reveal themselves once I reach home again.

Another thing that tends to happen is that I lose motivation to press on for more. I have nothing or no-one to compare my progress with, and I become complacent and satisfied. Does this trend sound at all familiar with the Christian life?

All too often, it's true of mine, and I'm ever grateful for those in my life who keep motivating me to press on for deeper and greater heights with Christ. Hebrews 12:1 exhorts us in this same principle.

"Wherefore seeing we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith."

Christ is to be our ultimate example and inspiration, but let us not forget that the heroes of the faith, past and present, can add valuable strength and encouragement to keep on when the going gets hard.

To inspire us when our hearts have grown cold.

To keep our eyes fixed on what is truly possible as children of the Almighty God.

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended, but this one thing I do. Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 3:13-14

Surrender

2011-01-21T20:54:00.000-06:00

"If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will only satisfy a little lad."

-Ruth Stull

"What kind of a God is it who asks everything of us? The same God "...who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all, and with this gift, how can He fail to lavish upon us all he has to give."

He gives all.

He asks all.

-Elizabeth Elliot

Submission, Trust, and Love

2011-01-11T12:42:00.006-06:00

"God is love."

1 John 4:16

It has become my strong conviction over the years that submission to God's will has as much to do with trust as it does the actual bowing of our heart. To doubt God's dealings with us as being best, is to doubt the very nature of God. It is to doubt the explicitly revealed word of God.

This trust is most often asked of us in relation to things we cannot see or understand. Am I talking about blind faith? Not really. When what we do is first and foremost rooted in our belief in the fact that what God has said about His nature and character is true, it is not blind. It is perhaps without natural human understanding, but this obedience is resting in something, rather Someone far greater than the puny scope of our natural perception.

This also reaches beyond what we perceive God has asked us directly to do. God has placed authorities in each of our lives, whether they be civil, parental, marital, or church authorities. In reference to each of these authorities, God gives clear command to submit to their desires "as unto the Lord." This can only come as we recognize that "the king's heart is in the hands of the Lord" and that God has the ability "to turn in whichever way He chooses." Can we trust in that promise as well? Your trust in the love nature of God is crucial.

The Scripture says that God's very nature is love. God can never function contrary to His own nature. Never in your life will God ever express His will toward you except that it is an expression of perfect love. He can't! God's kind of love always seeks the very best for a person. Therefore, He can never give you second best. His nature will not let Him.

Never allow your heart to question the love of God. Settle it on the front end of your desiring to know Him and experience Him, that He loves you. He created you for that love relationship. He has been pursuing you in that love relationship. Every dealing He has with you is an expression of His love for you. God would cease to be God if He expressed Himself in any way other than perfect love! Your relationship with God right now reveals what you believe about Him. It is spiritually impossible for you to believe one way and practice another. If you really believe that God is love, you will also accept the fact that His will is always best.

-Henry T. Blackaby

Busy Days

2010-12-30T20:40:00.000-06:00

I will return to blogging some day. I promise. :-) I have a new favorite thing in life that's keeping me very busy these days. :-) And smiling. :-) Lots. :-)

A thought-provoking quote...

2010-12-04T19:19:00.002-06:00

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

-T.M.

A random assortments of ramblings...

2010-11-26T16:43:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe that just a week and a half ago I was playing volleyball barefoot in North Carolina. The bright colors of the trees were beyond their peak, but still very much gave the impression of Fall. It was with mixed feelings I looked out the airplane window on my way back home the next evening to a land covered in snow. Back in WI, winter has begun, and this very white Thanksgiving gives a good promise for a white Christmas. I'm not exactly relishing the fact that I must go out now at 4:00am to scrap my car and turn it on for several minutes before leaving for the bakery where I work, but hey, I guess that's part of living in the North. :-)

It just hit me the other day that this will be my first winter home, as in the north, for three years. The last two have largely been spent in southern climates, maintaining my summer tan. It's hard to believe that it was already a year ago that I was starting to pack for my time spent in the Sierra Madres hiking the mountains of the Copper Canyon. Time has gone so quickly, but I guess this year has been quite full.

So, I'm settling in for a nice, long, cozy winter. Life's pace is slowing down, and I'm starting to find myself with evening to cozy up in front of the fireplace with a mug of hot tea and a good book. Some of Michael Phillip's books have found their way back into my remembrance, and I'm enjoying my newfound discovery of Henry T. Blackaby. Good stuff. Nancy Leigh DeMoss's three book series, 'Brokenness, Surrender, and Holiness' is waiting for the right time to be picked up. I can't wait! I recently ordered Debi Pearl's new book "Preparing to be a Help Meet," and have been challenged by what she has to offer. Admittedly a bit skeptical at first due to various "hear-says," I've walked away challenged with her emphasis on prayer, and purposeful, godly living. I believe I could safely recommend this to any girl.

MemVerse and my homemade flash cards are seeing lots of use these days. I have really enjoyed using this online tool for keeping track of memory work, and systematic review. I'm trying to memorize the book of 1 Timothy this winter, and well as become well reviewed on the book of James and Phillipians which I previously memorized. This is a helpful site that you should check out if you already haven't!

I've run across some neat tidbits lately on blogs that were recommended to me. Just a few quotes...

A Sweet Fragrance

Measure thy life by loss, and not by gain.

Not by wine drunk, but by the wine poured forth.

For love's strength standeth in love's sacrifice.

And He who suffers most has most to give

Where lies the hindrance to this self emptying? Are we ready for the last surrender?

Read the whole post here!

Resolved2worship had some very good thoughts on forgiveness.

For me, when the past comes to mind, when the hurt comes back again, it's all about punting the law back to the Supreme Court. Again and again and again, if need be. 70x7 plus some if I have to.

What I mean by that is taking the sin that has been done towards me and instead of being the judge, the condemner, the court. . . it's allowing and releasing God to be the judge. It's going to God on my face and allowing Him to wash me of my pride in thinking that I should be the judge of the wrongs done me. It's believing that vengeance is His, not mine.

It's seeing clearly how much I have been forgiven of my own sin and extending that same amount of forgiveness to the one who has sinned against me. How much do I want Jesus to forgive me? There is a verse that speaks clearly to this - saying that Jesus forgives us in the SAME WAY that we forgive others who have sinned against us.

God forgives me even when I don't ask. So, even if they never ask, I must take that which they have done to me and "punt it back" into the court of God - not holding them accountable in my own court of law, but allowing God to be judge over them. He does a much better job, because it's His to do, not mine.

What if the person who has sinned against you believes they are sinless? There are many times I am unaware of how I have sinned against God, yet, He forgives me.

What if they ask for forgiveness and I know it's not sincere and I've seen no evidence of a changed heart? What about the times I ask God to forgive me for my sin and then go and do the same thing again?

And yet, He has forgiven me.

Forgive as I have been forgiven. How I extend forgiveness, in that SAME WAY, will I be forgiven by God.

Again, the whole post here.

Well, I am going to close this rather large, rambling post, and wish all my American friends a blessed Thanksgiving weekend! And to all you others, a day of blessings and gratefulness in your hearts as well! We have much to rejoice in!

Finding God's Will

2010-11-22T08:36:00.000-06:00

Finding God's will is not a method, formula, or set of steps. We do not find God's will, He reveals it to us.

When you have a love relationship with Jesus Christ, God reveals Himself, His purposes, and His ways; and He invites you to join Him where He is already at work.

When you obey, God accomplishes through you something only He can do. Then you come to know God in a more intimate way by experiencing God at work through you.

-Claude V. King.

Fully Known

2010-11-15T09:25:00.002-06:00

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

Psalm 139:2-6

I am fully known by one person, Jesus Christ.

Therefore, I always have someone to go to for help in knowing who I am. Jesus Christ.

There is always one person who knows me perfectly. Knows it better than I do. Jesus Christ.

Therefore, I always have a person who is willing to love me, knowing absolutely everything about me.

Jesus Christ.

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know, even as also I am known."

1 Corinthians 13:12

Memories from Lancaster

2010-11-05T20:36:00.000-05:00

Christ's True Freedom

2010-10-31T20:54:00.000-05:00

"If you do not begin with utter freedom from the law, if there is one iota of the law where you are not free, you live your whole Christian life in fear of that one rule. Yes, fearful. Fearful that God will not accept you if you fail at that one point. There can be no exception. If you are free of the law, then you are free to be the Lord's. Only then are you utterly free to be the Lord's. All law. All rules. All rightness. All."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Dangerous? Perhaps. But to present anything that could take you out of His grace ... that is dangerous. A gospel that presents as a solution Christ, plus one iota of law - that is far less than an uttermost solution. His solution is an uttermost solution. If it is Christ and the dot of an i, then Christ died in vain, for then His deliverance is not utter deliverance. My Lord's solution, my Lord's salvation, is utter. A freedom that is freedom from every possible prohibition does not cause a believer to sin. It is a freedom that sets the believer free to love Him - with all the others in the church - to love HIM with all their hearts."

-Excerpt by Gene Edwards from his book, 'The Silas Diary.'

"For brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself... This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh... If ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law."

Galatians 5:13-18

A Week of Firsts

2010-10-26T16:27:00.000-05:00

It all started out pleasant enough. Very pleasant, actually. This Canadian that I've grown quite fond of decided to come down and spend the weekend, and his stay was beyond delightful. :-) Joel booked two tickets on the Avalon - a old-fashioned River Boat cruise complete with with a meal on board suited for kings.

I had dreamed for some time of taking a trip on one of these boats in this Mississippi town, and Joel make this dream a reality! So fun!

I also tried my hand that weekend at making a pumpkin chiffon cheesecake. Another first for me, but one that turned out tasty!

Whether it was that rich meal aboard the riverboat, this cheesecake, or the home-made pizza that also made it's way to the table that Sunday, or simply a compounding of problems that had been building for about six weeks, Wednesday evening found another first for me.

My first trip to the emergency room.

The next three days were lots and lots of firsts. First IV. First two nights in a hospital. First ambulance ride. First morphine ever - five doses just initially to get my extreme stomach pain under control. First CT scan. First ultrasound. And eventually, my first surgery.

I now have four little incisions in my stomach and a missing gallbladder as proofs of what occurred Thursday afternoon. My recovery has been slow and painful, and quite a bit harder than what I anticipated, but I rejoice to say that these last two days have been huge stepping stones to a state of normal I'm looking forward to returning to. Through the ups and downs, the Lord has been extremely faithful, and I've learned again what precious, precious friends and church family I have.

I was blessed today by a quote a friend shared with me. Ponder these words with me.

Could it be that [Jesus] came not to wave the magic wand and make the cancer go away, but to enter into our sufferings? Could it possibly be true that the best show of faithfulness is not the healing or the unexpected check, but the unthinkable truth that God has chosen to be with us through it all? Could it be that the greatest miracle is not provision, but presence?" - M. C.

God's presence has been sweet, and I love to see His faithfulness through the hard things in life, and the sweet things. Jesus truly doeth all things well...

All the way my Saviour leads me;

What have I to ask beside?

Can I doubt His tender mercy,

Who through life has been my guide?

Heav'nly peace divinest comfort,

Here by faith in Him to dwell!

For I know whate'er befall me,

Jesus doeth all things well;

-Fanny Crosby

H.A.P.P.Y.

2010-10-18T20:45:00.000-05:00

The beauty of love...

2010-10-17T15:37:00.000-05:00

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren (and sisters!) to
dwell together in unity!"

"...and these words shall be in thine heart, and thou shalt
teach them diligently unto thy children..."

"And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the
greatest of these is charity."

"...by love, serve one another."

Bowling Memories.

2010-10-14T14:42:00.000-05:00

It was a summer evening about six weeks ago when I was waiting for one of *those* phone-calls. It was hot. Smotheringly sticky. We all were just sitting around, no energy to do anything, and the hours were dragging by mercilessly for me.

Out of the blue, as is just like my Dad, he popped out the question, "So, who wants to go bowling?" In short order, we jumped into our van with no air conditioning except the classic 4/55 kind, (four open windows at 55 mph) and headed to the deliciously cool bowling alley in town.

I will admit, I'm not a huge fan of bowling. It's alright, but perhaps it's some of my early childhood memories that taints this sport for me.

I was a bit younger than this littlest sister, when I went bowling with my family and our church for the first time. Don't ask me why, but I was bowling in my socks instead of the required clown-shoes, and I dropped that unbelievably heavy ball on my tender five-year-old toes. Yeah. It left quite an impression there, and in my memory.

It obviously left an impression in my Dad's mind too, as he frequently cautioned me that evening to hold onto my ball tightly. Though I don't think he needed to worry about comforting a sobbing little girl, he couldn't resist the teasing remarks throughout our time there.

I will admit, I enjoyed taking pictures a bit more that evening than actually hurling that wobbly ball down the lanes and continually cringing as it hit the gutters, but I couldn't help but be just a tad bit pleased when I managed two or three strikes that evening. I won't shock you with my score. :-)

Later as we enjoyed ice-cream and other tasties at McDonald's, I had to confess that the evening with my family was priceless. Even as I got a little anxious to get home to *that* phone-call, I was glad I came.

Family is precious and memories are priceless. Even if those memories involve a ten-pound bowling ball on top of five-year-old toes.

Hide Me Behind the Cross

2010-10-12T21:09:00.000-05:00

I've been meditating a lot on Phillipians 2 lately, doing some memory, and basically trying to wrap my mind around the concept of making myself of no reputation, being consumed with the things of others rather than myself, and what lowliness of mind looks like lived out in flesh and blood. It's been a challenge for sure!

The other evening, I found myself in a very rare situation. Home alone at night, with no one but my kitty to keep me company. The dark, quiet house was such a strange contrast to the normal hustle and bustle of nine family members, so as I tackled a pile of dishes, I stuck in a CD that belonged to one of my brothers. I had never listened to it before, and many of the songs were completely unfamiliar to me. One jumped out in particular, though, and as I listened to it over and over again, the impact of what this men's quartet was singing about struck a chord with my recent ponderings.

Lord as I seek to serve You,

May You find in me what's pleasing to Your heart.

I leave my will at Calvary,

Taking on a nature humbled by Your scars.

For I know it's only through Your love,

That who I am is hidden by Your grace.

Let my desires be overshadowed,

As I recall the purpose of that place.

That sweet place of the cross. The cross that seeks to hide us - not only our sins, failings, and stumblings as fallen human creatures, but those fleshly human achievements that would seek to blur the glory and splendor of Jesus Christ in us. I found the prayer that rose from this truth so precious...

Hide me behind the cross,

Where my gains become as loss.

And only Your glory is in view.

Your power will be revealed

The more that I am concealed.

Hide me behind the cross

So the world sees only You.

I have to think of what our number one goal needs to be in life. That goal which Paul so aptly puts into words in Phillipians 3:10 ~ "That I may know Him...." That all else in my life becomes as loss and worth nothing in the light of this higher priority.

What is the fruit of this heart?

If I rely on my strength

To be a source of hope for those in need,

The only profit I would gain

Would be the empty honor of my deeds.

But with all of self behind Your cross,

The splendor of Your love stands free to shine.

Illuminating with Your power,

Reaching souls so You alone are glorified.

Truly and honestly, is there anything is life worth living for more than this? My desire is to keep this focus always in the forefront of my vision. Hiding behind the cross of glory, so that His glory is revealed, the more I allow my self to be hidden behind Him...

What is our focus?

2010-10-02T16:30:00.000-05:00

I was pretty blessed the other day by an article over on YLCF. Though directed to single girls, the principles this young lady touches on are applicable to anybody, at any season in life. She basically challenges her readers with the question, "What defines you as a person?" Along with that question, others are begged. What is our true, root, and prevailing priority and goal in life? Marriage? Planting a church on a foreign field? Raising a family? Serving with some ministry?

If so, you've got it all wrong.

The most important detail of my whole life is that I am a child of God. Wherever I go, whatever the color of my skin happens to be...I am a Christian, bought with the priceless gift of Jesus blood. That means, I am not my own. I am called to serve the Lord, with all of my talents, all of my being, all of my desires and wishes. I am called to throw myself into the front-lines of spiritual battle, praying when I can do nothing else, working when and where that is possible, pouring my life out for the One who bought me. My life right now should be pretty much like my married life will one day be: a life with Christ as it’s focus, it’s aim, it’s glory. In that respect, my physical conditions on earth do not alter who I am, and what I am called to do.

Whatever place in life God has called us to, this girl got it right when she said that life is meant to be fulfilling.

Fulfilling, because I am actually doing what I was meant to do: serve Christ. If I were a married woman, and NOT serving Christ, I would feel as unfulfilled as it is so easy to feel now, while I am single. Because marriage is not the thing which feeds our souls. Christ is.

If you were blessed and want to read more, the entire article is available here!

Smiles

2010-09-30T20:25:00.003-05:00

I'm doing lots of smiling these days, and not too much blogging.

There's a pretty amazing guy in my life who's incredibly talented at making a girl feel special.

I like him. Lots.

Changing Seasons

2010-09-27T19:15:00.003-05:00

I love this time of year. The crisp, cool nights, the changing colors, and reveling in the busyness of summer winding down. I find it a beautiful time of year to be moving into another season of life as well. The Lord's leadings over the past two months have been amazing to behold, and I am thrilled to share with you a bit of what HE has been doing!

A couple months ago, I wrote a bit about our trip to the Lake Itasca Family Bluegrass Festival. This trip was eventful in more than one way, and our family came back with three big things. I wish to call them all blessings, but I guess in a way, even chicken pox can be! :-) We never have to have them again, eh? Dad also came home with an upright bass, (which has been a dream of his for a few years) and I came home with a lost appetite and a whole pile of hopes that were all wrapped around an amazing Canadian the Lord crossed my paths with.

Our conversation started at a concession stand of his brother-in-law's that he was helping with, and his interest was piqued when I innocently asked what type of coffee it was they were advertising. Having just returned from Guatemala and having enjoyed a tour of a coffee farm there, I was quite curious about the origin and type of what they were advertising. What I didn't know is that he had been to the same language school that I had just returned from, and this piece of information started a conversation that first evening that lasted around an hour. Several more hours of visiting followed over the course of the weekend, and by this time, I was seriously interested in what God seemed to be doing.

Two long weeks of waiting followed, during which time I had no clue what was happening in Manitoba. Though I suspected God was doing something, I had no clue I would have a weekend visitor three weeks after Itasca. After that blessed three days, Joel and I have spent quite a bit of time communicating via phone, getting to know each other, and discerning how God was leading. When he returned this past weekend, I was overjoyed to respond affirmatively to his request for courtship.

We are both incredibly blessed at how the Lord has gone ahead of us, and would covet your prayers and we continue following His leading. The Lord truly makes everything beautiful in His perfect timing, and I think one of the prettiest times of year is a perfect backdrop to this story only He could have written.

Suffering in Perspective

2010-09-22T21:14:00.000-05:00

What sort of picture does the word 'suffering' bring to your mind? Victims of the Haiti earthquake? Persecuted Christians in China, India, or North Korea? A hard day at work? The death of a loved one? Loss of a job or financial security? Chronic sickness?

Whatever the case, usually our mind does not conjure up a pretty or desirable situation in life. For most people, suffering is something to be avoided at all costs. It's something we shield ourselves from, taking great care that no unnecessary risks are taken that might jeopardize our comfortable situation in life.

This attitude reveals what our perspective is about Christianity. It is a preoccupation for my salvation, my comfort, my well-being, and my eternal security. It is a life that says, "Yes, Lord, I'll follow You, but please just don't ask me to do anything that hurts. Or at least, nothing that hurts a lot. Grant me peace, joy, and fulfillment in all I do, and bless my efforts in these ways I've decided to serve You."

Most of these people are successful in reaching their goals, particularly those who are born into a blessed country, such as America has been. It's fairly easy to glide through our life on this earth with no huge hurdles, obstacles, or sacrifices. Saying the right words at the right times, tolerance for sin, and a friendly demeanor will go a long ways. "Carried to heaven on flowery beds of ease" is their motto, and they are not ashamed to both live it and verbally proclaim it.

Though this sort of life is possible for a few, many are shocked when someday they are thrown into unchosen, and unavoidable suffering. Tragedy may strike at any time, and it's then that many are forced to seek God in a new way. Some describe these experiences as wake-up calls, and can later testify with gratefulness to the refining God did through their experience. Others walk away disillusioned, bitter, and angry that a "loving" God could allow them to go through such unthinkable calamity.

What is God's heart in this? Why does He allow suffering? What exactly is suffering? What should be our attitude toward it? In what ways do sacrifice and suffering tie together?

Recently I finished reading a book called 'The Overcomers' by Richard Wurmbrand that examined many stories of persecuted Christians around the world, and the thing that stood out to me the most was the attitude of these Christians toward suffering. They not only rejoiced in it as we are commanded in James 1:2, but they embraced it, and even welcomed it as a privilege. They had the minds and hearts of soldiers, and were not shaken when hard things came their way.

I believe much of this came from their perspective on eternity. Their goals were set not merely on their own temporal happiness here on earth, but on the Kingdom of God and the souls they were so desirous to bring in. When weighing those things in the balance, those eternal rewards were found much more precious, and gave them the ability to rejoice and thrive in some of the humanly worst situations imaginable. I do believe they counted the cost, but were able to count what we consider terrible suffering and sacrifice as a blessed privilege.

The world is watching during the times of our deepest agony and they are wanting to see if our Christianity works all the time. Are we going to waste these opportunities for God to be glorified, or will be let those heart-wrenching times be the platform to shout forth the goodness and all-sufficiency of Christ? Most importantly, are we willing to be used by God, however He chooses for the advancement of the kingdom, even if it hurts?

The Christian prays for fuller manifestations of Christ's power, and glory, and love to him; but he is often not aware that this is in truth praying to be brought into the furnace; for in the furnace only it is that Christ can walk with His friends, and display, in their preservation and deliverance, His own almighty power.

-Cecil

A little cabin in the woods....

2010-09-18T08:42:00.002-05:00

Enjoying family vacation.... Will be back to real life, and hopefully blogging soon! Hope you all are enjoying the last days of your summer!

"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord, and not unto men."

Col. 3:23

Making Suffering Our Servant

2010-09-12T11:21:00.000-05:00

"Don't become the servant to your suffering but make suffering your servant by allowing it to become the megaphone that magnifies the goodness of God in your life." -Louie Giglio

I was very encouraged by this during our "family church service" this morning. Confined to home due to nearly all of us getting chicken pox at the same time, we enjoyed watching this DVD this morning. Sorry for the lack of blogging around here... At 24, this virus has hit me incredibly hard, and after nearly a week, I'm still not out of it. It's been a good time to reflect on the principle of praising God through the times of suffering and joy in life. May I be found faithful to praise Him in the storms, as well as in the sunshine....

Hoping that blogging can resume normally before too long....

Summer Sweetness....

2010-08-31T13:49:00.000-05:00

Picnics with the family....

Beautiful Walks...

Figuring out the map at the park...

'Twas a full, but very blessed weekend! Hope to be back to blogging at some point!

Life in the Ring of Fire

2010-08-24T11:23:00.000-05:00

Volcan Agua from the vantage point of 'Cerro De La Cruz'

I had never stopped to ponder before making my 6-week trip to Guatemala that I was headed to the land of earthquakes and volcanos. It didn't take me too long to become informed.

Four days after I arrived in Guatemala, I was sitting in class, and at the same time that I heard a bus roaring past, the whole room shook a little side to side. The feeling was similar to the vibrations caused from a large vehicle, but only on a much larger scale. My teacher told me it wasn't caused from the bus, it was a temblor - or earthquake tremor.

A cloudy bit of Fuego behind the arch.

These temblors are quite common in Guatemala, and the people welcome them rather than fear them. It hopefully means pressures isn't building up for a catastrophic earthquake that has destroyed Guatemala several times in the past. During my six weeks there, there were around a dozen temblors, but this was the only one I felt. One was actually quite large during the night - made the newspapers and everything and scared quite a few people. I just had to sleep right through it. Yeah - I was pretty disgusted with myself.

That temblor four days after I arrived is very likely linked to the major eruption Volcan Pacaya saw that evening. This was it's third major eruption in all of history, and shut down Guatemala City and the international airport for a week due to the ash coating the city. Fortunately, only five people were killed, but unfortunately for me, tourism on the volcano was pretty much shut down. This was the #1 spot I wanted to visit as it is one of the few places in the world where you can stand next to rivers of flowing lava and roast your marshmallows. :-) I so wanted to see this in person as shown in the picture below.... Oh well, perhaps this allure will just manage to draw me back to Guatemala some time. :-)

Note - I did not take this picture

Though not nearly as exciting, I did get to see Volcan Fuego which is the closest active volcano to Antigua. It spews out puffs of smoke like this one around every 10 minutes. The one I caught in this picture was a rather small one, but it still gives you an idea.

Last but not least, was Volcan Agua. The best I could understand, this volcano has either never erupted, or erupted somewhere around 1500 years ago, but it's name Agau (water) comes from the crater on the top that once upon a time filled with water, overflowed, and destroyed several towns in it's path. Now, it is simple a "volcano" to admire, take pictures of through the arch, and hike if you have the energy. :-) I just did the two former as shown in the top two pictures.

Someday if I ever return to this land of fire, I want to experience these things a little more up close. For now though, I'll just remember, look up pictures, and dream of that someday....

Website Update!

2010-08-20T20:50:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the amazing work of our friend Ryan, our website is 95% current again! (The reason I say 95% is that after nearly 4 weeks, I'm still waiting for my camera lens to come back so I can take a new family picture.) Anyhow, we now have music samples, printable media, and a store and link page. Our CD is now also available for purchase there.

We are grateful for the timing of this during a quite busy music schedule. We have a bit of traveling ahead of us yet this Summer. Check out our schedule if you want! It would be great to meet some of you in person!

The danger of the "Holding Pattern" Mentality

2010-08-18T17:59:00.000-05:00

What do I mean by a "holding pattern?" It's the idea that I have often find myself falling into of thinking, "Well, I'm waiting for such and such to happen, and when it does, then real life will finally begin." I'm reminded of a well known quote that states, "Life is what's happening while you are waiting for life to start.

Insert anything you want into that "such and such." A new job, graduation, marriage, another child, or the last one gone, a foreign field to serve long term on, a move, a church change, or a million other things. As God has brought different waiting seasons into my life over the years, I'm tempted to think, "When this is resolved, I'll be done waiting." :-) Somehow I'm getting the feeling from God that's He's always going to keep me in a position of needing to wait on and depend upon Him.

All that said, I wanted to share an Oswald Chambers quote that a dear, faithful friend e-mailed me a few weeks back. It challenges this mentality, and puts our focus back on what God's real purpose is for our life. Not for the future, but life in the present. That is, glorifying God with all my life. Right now.

What is my dream of God's purpose?

His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process - that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God.

God's training is for now, not presently. His purpose is for this minute, not for something in the future. We have nothing to do with the afterwards of obedience; we get wrong when we think of the afterwards. What men call training and preparation, God calls the end.

God's end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious.

-Oswald Chambers

Sometimes, God doesn’t change the circumstance until that circumstance has changed us. We’re interested in the end result. God is interested in the process.....

Weekend Memories

2010-08-17T17:09:00.000-05:00

On the shores of Lake Superior

Such a blessing to have time to relax!

What sort of footprints are you leaving?

Peaceful beauty that gave me some needed
time with the Lord.

Feeding seagulls is a family favorite!

Sweet sister times on the *windy* beach!

Filled

2010-08-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

Make me lonely for Thy presence, every earthly friend above;

Make me thirst for Thine indwelling, make me hungry for Thy love;

Till in full and free surrender I shall yield my life to Thee,

Only then, in full perfection, canst Thou give Thyself to me.

All the beauty that I seek for, every treasure I would own,

Thou art these in rich completeness, they are found in Thee alone;

All the loveliness I long for, all the best that I would be,

I can never find them elsewhere than in Thee, Lord, just in Thee.

Empty me of all my glory, all my boasting, all my pride;

Let my righteousness, my wisdom, on Thy cross be crucified;

Fill me, then, with all Thy fullness, all Thy will work Thou for me;

In Thyself is nothing lacking; make me, Lord, complete in Thee.

~Annie Johnson Flint

To be filled with God is a great thing; to be filled with the fullness of God is still greater, to be filled with all the fullness of God is greatest of all.

-William Bramwell.

Weekend With the Wissmanns and Family Festival

2010-08-10T19:03:00.003-05:00

After a packed 5 days, I think I can breath again. Though busier than I would often care to repeat, the presence of sweet fellowship with other Christians, family memories, topped with lots and lots of miles traveled makes it worthwhile. The short nights were well worth it!

Wednesday night started off with another stop through by the Wissmann family from Nebraska. We were privileged to host the 3rd annual concert with them in Ridgeland, WI, and I can't imagine anyone went away not being blessed and challenged.

I would highly encouraged any of you who are looking for an evening on good music brimmed with inspiring testimonies both in word and in the lives of this family we can now call friends, do look up their schedule! They travel all around the country, and chances are you would be able to find something, sometime within driving distance!

We thought it was pretty neat they didn't have anything else going on until the next evening, so we were able to enjoy a morning and afternoon picnic at the park with them. Gracious neighbors lent us their kayaks, we pulled out the stops for food, and simply enjoyed some sweet fellowship.

Friday morning found us up bright and early, pulling out of the driveway around 6:00am for the Lake Itasca Family bluegrass festival. After a grueling drive and several stops, we arrived around 5:30 and set up camp in record breaking time. As a family, we have taken very few opportunities to go camping together, and trying to change that habit! It's definitely something we really enjoy!

We chose a primitive camp site, and though the mosquitos were horrendous, we enjoyed the quietness, seclusion, and simply time to be a family. The older I get, the more I am learning to treasure these times together. I know they are not going to last forever.

A stop in Duluth to watch this Canadian Ship go through, as well as Ice Cream at
'Grandma's Boxcar' helped pass the hours of driving.

One highlight for me was listening in on the wonderful children's presentation the Wissmann children did for the festival. Around 200 children attended, and I'll tell you, every eye was glued to that stage! I enjoyed it thoroughly myself!

Besides songs and memory verses with the children, they wrote a script off of the life of Ira D. Sankey. Some humorous acting, drama, and an inspiring life all worked together to makes this skit a huge success.

Putting out the Chicago fire.

Over 400 eyeballs, waiting for the action to start.

New Friends. :-)

Boys against girls in singing volume.

The weekend ended nicely with an overnight visit with dear friends in Bemidji. Rachael has a sweet blog here that you can check out. It was a blessing to be able to catch up some after over a year of not seeing each other!

Under a bridge, enjoying some chat time. :-)

Now it's back to home life, some catching up on sleep, and gearing up for further travels this summer. Oh, and waiting for my camera lens to come back from the repair shop! I felt rather crippled this last weekend with just my point and shoot, but I guess I made do. :-)

Till next time!

Scripture Memory

2010-08-08T19:45:00.000-05:00

Memorizing Scripture is something that I've done on and off through my life, but have never buckled down and stuck with it. There was the summer two friends and I memorized through the book of Phillipians, and though I am quite rusty on it now, the book still has a familiarity that is precious. Early on in my life, my family and I memorized Psalm 91 together. Then there was the winter another two friends and I memorized Psalm 107. The last big accountability project was with two co-workers. We set the goal to memorize Psalm 119 in it's entirety during a summer. Some of us met that goal better than others. :-)

All of these times hold a special place in my heart. Not just because they were times spent with friends and family, but they were centered around the word of God. They built not only memories, but a greater foundation of Scripture in my heart.

Don't just take my word for it, though. What encouragement does Scripture give? Here's just a couple of promises associated with hiding God's word in our heart.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." Psalm 1:1-3

"Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all." 1 Timothy 4:15

There are many more that can be found with a little searching. :-) I was blessed by this quote by Nancy Epperson who appeared on Nancy Leigh DeMoss's Radio Program last January.

"As you’re memorizing and meditating, everything about it forces you to think on God’s Word. The more you spend time in the Word of God, the more you get to know the Author of that Book. The more you get to know Him, the more you love Him, because to know Him is to love Him. The more you love Him, it just kind of spills out. It just spills out all over."

But, enough of the intellectual, fluffy-feeling stuff. How does this all work? Everyone has their own method and ways of learning and retention, and I would love to hear how some of you incorporate this into your lives. Let me just throw out a few ideas for you if you haven't given this much thought.

One things I have found helpful for memorizing, whether it be Bible verses, or Spanish verbs and their conjugations, is to write them out on flash cards. You can buy flash cards in a spiral-type notebook, or I've also laminated them, punched holes, and put them on my own ring. I usually have one or two sets riding around with me in my car as driving time is a great opportunity for memory, especially if you are alone and can work out-loud.

There are a couple of on-line tools that are also very helpful. The first I want to share is a link one of the elders from our church shared with me. He has done extensive memorizing in his life-time, and has found this method very effective. I have used it some myself, and have found it extremely logical. I have retained Scripture, and stuck with memory work using this method more than any other one I have ever tried.

The last I wanted to share was an online program a dear friend recently showed me. With a simple and basic interface, this site isn't going to impress any computer programmers, but it is thought out, and effective. It includes a grading system to rate your our progress, and the program automatically adjusts the frequency with which you review a verse. It is a great way to keep up with past memory projects. Many Bible Bee contestants have used Memverse, and I am excited to get the word out to other potentials users. Do check it out and sign up!

Again, I would love to hear from you! What has God taught you through Scripture memory? Have you found any methods more useful than others? Wherever God has brought you, and whatever experiences you have had, they are not meant to stop! Keep up the good work if you are already memorizing, and if not, it is never too late to start!

"Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee...." Psalm 119:11

Perspective

2010-08-03T09:59:00.001-05:00

"Whatever weakens your reasoning, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God or takes away your relish for spiritual things -- this is sin.
In short, if anything increases the authority of the world and power of the flesh over the spirit, that to you, becomes sin, however good it is in itself."
--Susanna Wesley

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
Galatians 5:16

The beginning of the rest of this blog....

2010-08-02T17:52:00.000-05:00

Wow - where to start? I feel this blog has been far from my desires for it the past few years, but then again, my life has been far from predictable, steady, and even 50% conducive to writing. Writing is a passion of mine, but unfortunately, one that gets pushed back into the recesses of my priorities when life gets busy. Life isn't promising me any great prospects of slowing down, so I figure as long as there is hope of resuscitating a little bit of life back here, I'm daring to step out on a limb and hoping that priorities can change.

For starters, at least for now, I'm going to go back to one blog. There is going to be more photos on this one, snippets from life, and a continuation of quotes and occasional articles, hopefully just in a greater quantity. So, continue to stay tuned. :-) I have a packed next couple months, which I'm choosing to look at as lots of blogging material! :-P Till next time!

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31

From my little corner of the world...

2010-07-28T21:15:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know it's been over five weeks since I've posted anything. Don't worry - I haven't forgotten I've had a blog, and I've got some new ideas swimming around in my brain. Stay tuned for a post soon, and a new, personal direction for this blog in the near future!

True Love

2010-06-18T17:39:00.002-05:00

Over the past couple months, my inner definition of the meaning of true love has gone through some fairly major remodeling. I've found my assumptions challenged, and my sometimes twisted perspectives brought to light through various encounters and experiences. I would never, ever claim any of these experiences to be easy things to walk through, and yet it's been an exciting journey for me to understand a little more clearly what real, godly, true love looks like in day to day life.

When I first mention the word 'love,' your mind is possibly drawn to that which is shared between a husband and wife, or between an engaged or courting couple. While I have no doubt in my mind that these principles apply in this area, love is a much greater prism than the fluttery, amazing feeling that most people think of, and is by it's very essence something that effects a much broader realm. In reality, true love lived out touches every single area of our life, while at the same time, spilling over and effecting every person we come in contact with. Jesus lays out the definition of a Christian clearly in John when He says, "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." He also declare Himself to be love, and in actuality, love in our life is the living, breathing manifestation of Jesus Christ Himself that should flow out and touch every single relationship in our life.

At the very root of what I have been learning is one simple word. "Give." Scripture makes this clear. "Love...even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it." "God so loved the world that he gave..." "Greater love hath no man than this, than a man [give] his life for his friends..." The Bible often refers to our salvation, sanctification, and eternal life as a gift from the hand of God.

I have a friend who really loves chocolate. She loves chocolate in any shape, form, style, or presentation, and the bigger the bar or box, the better. I love giving her chocolate, and the squeals of delight from her lips whenever she opens a new box is more than enough reward for me. Sometimes I've felt rather selfish - I truly feel that I get more delight out of her excitement than is fit and proper! Giving to her feels like a treat for myself, and has never, ever seemed to be a sacrifice.

Oftentimes when we think of giving, the highlighted verse in our mind is "Give and it shall be given back unto you, a good measure, shaken down and running over shall be given into your bosom." This is the sort of love that leaves us feeling overwhelmingly blessed, and completely primed to go for it again. What pours out of us is received with gratefulness by others, fruit is being produced, and sacrifice is the farthest thing from our mind. As long as we are receiving, as well as giving, love flows out naturally, and we bask in the warm glow that surrounds our life.

What if this is not the case, though? What if the next time I gave my friend some chocolate, she half-heartedly rips open the wrapping, glances over it, and complains that it was the same brand I gave her last time. What if that box of chocolate was shoved on a shelf, forgotten, and left for the ants. No appreciation was shown, no thanks given, and the gift which costed me some effort and money was never used or thought about again. That sure wouldn't be much motivation for me to keep giving, would it? I would probably start looking for another friend who appreciated what I had to offer.

This is where the rubber starts to meet the road, and where I've come face to face with the fact that loves gives with no thought of return. For me, this has been the time when I've started realizing that true love does not ask, "What does this friend or person have that will bless, fulfill, and satisfy me?" Without doubt, it is a natural and easy thing to focus on! Oh, but how much more beautiful and can I say, immensely more satisfying, is the time when our question becomes, "What do I have that I can give to bless or help this person?"

Now, consider with me one final scenario. Imagine that this box of chocolate was something my friend needed. She needed it desperately, and I was the only person who fully comprehended her need. Because I loved her, I went to great lengths and extreme expense to buy exactly the right kind for her. It truly cost me quite a bit. In fact, everything that was precious in my life was laid out, and my anticipation at her appreciation of my sacrifice, and at the deepening of our friendship through that sacrifice was great. The day finally came when I presented her with the gift, and to my surprise, I quickly realized that she didn't know herself that she needed this chocolate. When she opened the box, she turned on me with fury that I would dare assume her needs or desires, and accused me of ulterior motivations. That precious box of chocolate was thrown on the floor, trampled on, and I in turn was thrown out of my friend's house and life...

This, my friends, is the scenario that our Lord faced when He came to earth. The only difference is, He knew beforehand that His gift was going to be trampled on and rejected by the majority of the world, and yet He still gave everything He had. He not only knew that He would face rejection of the worst kind, but also a pain and death as cruel as man could imagine. What was His motivation? Remember one of my first statements - God is love. Love gives without reserve, and love for us and for His Father's glory is what drove Him to earth for the aid of a few who would eventually realize in a very, very small way what sacrifice He actually made.

So how does all this apply to us? I am reminded of David's words in II Samuel 24. David asks the searching question, "Shall I give unto the Lord my God that which has cost me nothing?" First and foremost, I deeply believe this applies to our surrender to God. If love is truly measured by giving, isn't is accurate to say that an unsurrendered life to God is in essence hating Him? Isn't it equally as accurate to say that the greatest expression of love that we can show to our Lord is the very giving of ourselves, unreservedly to Him, for whatever purpose He sees best?

"God so loved, that he gave...." What an example to pattern our lives after in relating to others as well! Remember....

There will be times this love is taken advantage of.

Still keep loving.

There will be times when this love is not appreciated.

Don't stop.

There are times when loving and giving another the thing they need will be misunderstood.

Don't become bitter.

Keep your eyes on the source of love, and remember His example.

A Misc. Random Picture Post of Antigua

2010-06-16T18:34:00.000-05:00

La Merced - A big church in the area that I pass by every day.

My desk in my cozy little room. I have already spent MANY hours studying here.

A common sight. The painters here are rather amazing!

Cute little angle boy at the Corpus Cristi procession.

Fruit is available in abundance here! I LOVE these fruit stands!

Have I mentioned that the food is amazing? ;-)

The beginning of the Corpus Cristi procession.

The kids like the food too! :-)

A crazy funny dog I run into quite often. I've had some interesting conversations with his owner.

Motorcycles are a primary source of transportation here.

The mountains and architecture are quite something!

Traditional Mayan singers/dancers.

Antigua...

2010-06-02T21:02:00.000-05:00

It is now my 11th day in Guatemala, and I have found a niche here that I am really enjoying. After studying Spanish off and on a bit during highschool, I retained an interest in the language, and after four trips to Mexico in the past 10 years, (three of them being in the last 2 1/2 years) I realized this interest was something I needed to take seriously. God's leading became clear as I prayed about and pursued different options, and when the door to La Ensenansa opened up, I was excited.

I am in the middle of Antigua, Guatemala, just 45 minutes from Guatemala City. Antigua used to be the capital of Guatemala, but as earthquakes continued to destroy the city, it was decided that the location would move. Much of the old Colonial Spanish architecture remains, though, and it is a fascinating city full of cobblestone streets, cathedral ruins, gardens, and fountains, all surrounded by mountains - several of which are volcanos.

Last week provided some excitement when Volcan Pacaya erupted for it's 3rd time in history, shortly followed by Tropical Storm Agatha. National emergency was declared as rivers swept away towns, and as the ash from the volcano coated Guatemala City. The international airport just re-opened yesterday, though I'm sure it's going to be many more weeks before life is back to normal for a lot of people. Antigua was spared from both, except for 10 inches of rain from the storm. There were literally rivers running down the streets.

My studies are going very well, and I'm super excited at the progress I'm making. I was so excited to get out of present tense verbs this morning, and to start tackling preterite. I really, really like my teacher, and she is amazing at what she does. There's enough of a challenge to force my attention to sit still, but enough variety to keep it interesting and to prevent brain-overload. I have 5 1/2 hours of one-on-one tutoring a day, plus plenty of homework and study assignments to provide more than work for the afternoons and evenings. The weekends are free except for homework, and I'm looking forward to doing some touristy things later on. There are coffee plantations to tour, museums to visit, a volcano to climb, and many, many more ruins I could go see. So far there has been only one other student at the school, but four more are due to arrive this weekend. I'm imagining I'll probably do some more touring with them.

Originally, the Lord seemed to be leading to this language school, and then back to MX for the rest of the summer, but recently the doors for returning to MX have completely closed for now. It's taken me quite by surprise, but I am so grateful that I can trust the Lord to direct my future completely. This morning I was so encouraged by a prayer I read out of Thomas Cook's "New Testament Holiness." How I pray that I will honestly be able to say this every day of my life....

"Put a thorn in every enjoyment and a worm in every gourd that would prevent, or in any measure retard my progress in Divine life. I am willing to receive what Thou givest, and to want what Thou withholdest, and to relinquish what Thou takest, and to suffer what Thou inflictest, and to be what Thou requirest, and to do what Thou commandest. Have Thine own way with me and mine in all particulars." - Lady Maxwell

P.S. Picture post hopefully coming soon!

Adventure??

2010-05-20T22:09:00.001-05:00

"God’s call to me, His child, is not to safeness, but always to do something more—always upward, higher, further along. To bypass the call is to settle for mediocrity, complacency, and dormancy. And should I choose not to risk, I will more than likely wake up some morning with the haunting question on my mind, “Could God have had something more for me, if only I had dared to trust?”

-Ruth Senter

Happy Squeals

2010-05-06T13:45:00.001-05:00

Many, many, many hours have been spent here!

To all my blogging friends who so patiently put up with my sporadic posting, I just couldn't bypass the opportunity to share a peek at one of the things that's been keeping me so occupied lately. For the past 19 months, I've been working through a college music theory course via mail, and had a personal goal I just met. Though I'm not finished yet, my last assignment for Unit III is ready for the mail!

Just in time too! I had hoped for a month of evenings to spend studying Spanish before flying to Antigua, Guatemala the end of this month for language school, but the difficulty of this final assignment topped with a crazy, crazy busy last two weeks didn't quite allow that. Now with just a little over two weeks before my trip, I'm even busier, but I can cross one more thing off my list. Yeah!!

Hopefully, sometime after I return I can pick it all back up and finish my final unit, but for now, I'm breathing a sigh of relief and looking forward to a change of pace for awhile. :-)

My final assignment for Unit III. So hard, but so rewarding now that it's completed!

"Ponder anew what the Almighty can do" - Pt. 4

2010-04-16T21:29:00.001-05:00

This final post is going to be just a random assortment of memories, and lots of pictures! :-) So, just sit back, pour yourself a cup of coffee, (or tea!) and enjoy one last peek from Mexico 2009-2010... :-)

"THE" Race:

Every year, around new year's, Guagueyvo, (and I'm guessing most other villages) hold an endurance race for which the Tarahumara's are famous. Do any internet search on "Raramuri runners" and you will find a pile of interesting cultural information.

Notice the ball directly in front of the first runner.

The idea of the race is to kick a wooden ball, along with your team members, 30 or so laps around the mountain. These runners started around noon, and I wish I would have an accurate picture to show you of them still running into the wee hours of the next morning. Pitch pine torches were carried among the large groups of people still running, while fires everywhere dotted the mountain, marking the places where observers were gathered to watch, encourage, and re-light torches.

Some women also ran along with the teams to encourage them along.

One thing that struck me was how much effort they put into this. We didn't stay up to watch the finish, but estimates were that they ran 14 hours non-stop. For days afterwards, you would see little boys running along the mountain trails kicking little balls in front of them, dreaming of someday....

A "refilling" station. :-)

In watching their whole-hearted effort, it was a challenge to me to faithfully run the race that is set before me. Should I give any less effort in striving for the victory and goals Christ has set before me?

Victor:

Victor was a half crazy boy who lived just over the hill from where I was. His mother had died in child-birth, and due to complications during the deliver, he is severely retarded. At 10 years old, most of his communication is guttural grunts, and though his grandparents care for him somewhat, for the most part, he is left to fend for himself. This results in behavior that is often much more animal-like than human....

Despite these obstacles, the Byler family has taken him under their wing, and he was frequently at their home for 1-2 meals a day. It was a blessing for me to see them firmly, yet kindly deal with his struggles, smell, and lack of manners. Due to them, he has come a long way, and it blessed me to see him pound his heart every time the name of "Jesus" was mentioned.

Getting a haircut from Elisha.

Food:

One thing I kept quite busy with was the family's baking. As soon as they found out that I had worked at a bakery for awhile, and love it, they graciously allowed me to bake the week's bread, granola, and whatever sweet things I could figure out with the kitchen's limited supplies. :-)

Meal prep was also something I helped with some. Though most of the time we ate very simply, once in awhile, particularly when we had visitors who brought in fresh ingredients, we would make something exotic like the completely homemade tacos below. :-)

Adventures:

One day I was feeling particularly energetic, and the children and I took an outing to a nearby creek.

Mud:

Though I was not there during the rainy season, the couple rains that did occur gave me a taste of the horrendously sticky mud the clay-based soil turns into after moisture hits it. The results were rather interesting....

Plane:

One particularly big highlight for me involved my transportation out of Guagueyvo. I never dreamed I would get to ride in the mission's bush plane, but the Lord worked out details in an amazing way. I loved it! It sure beat the 3-4 hour bone jolting ride in a vehicle! :-)

Samachique:

Samachique was the little plane's destination, and it was there I met up with dear friends from NC to finish out my time in MX. The fellowship was incredibly sweet for me after being so isolated for two months, and I thoroughly enjoyed the memories made and shared there together. The main goal there was to build a house for a family and host a missions conference for the missionaries working in that area of Mexico. Mixed in though, were some fun times too... :-)

A great big dorm was traded for my little one. Lots of close company
was shared here as there was 19 girls living here at one point!

A nice big kitchen, and some awfully talented cooks to boot! :-)

An evening of "The Island People."

Would you believe a week before this there was just a cement foundation?

Every made homemade pizza for 35+ people? :-) It was an adventure for sure,
but one that ended quite tastefully. :-)

As much as I enjoy Mexican food, this American pizza
tasted awesome!!

And so ended my time in Chihuahua. 5 days of travel up to NC was ahead, a friend's wedding, more memories made with other dear friend's, and a bittersweet flight home the 15th of February. I left with many lessons, memories, new friends, and absolutely no regrets.

Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper thy work and defend thee;

Surely His goodness and mercy here daily attend thee.

Ponder anew what the Almighty can do,

If with His love He befriend thee.

Do you desire God?

2010-04-08T18:31:00.003-05:00

My all time favorite preacher cuts the heart with this searching sermonette. Take this six minutes and allow God to stir your heart to want, love, and seek after Him more.

Leaving Home

2010-04-03T20:48:00.010-05:00

As the sun slowly sank behind the western horizon, a dim figure sat with head bowed into hands, agonizing over the most recent turn of events in his life. He had retreated to his favorite spot on the hillside behind the house. Noise, distractions, and work were left behind, and he followed the dimly lit wooded path to his favorite meadow. He was here to meet His God. To seek His face. To hear His voice.

A half-muffled groan escaped his lips as his prayer ascended to heaven. "Oh God. Not this... Not now. Please, Lord. Is there no one else?" The quiet anthem of crickets was the only sound to be heard as he vainly waited for peace to fill his heart. Nothing. Silence. The knot in his stomach tightened, and hot tears blurred his vision as the last orange glows of the sun slipped behind the rolling hills. His mind wandered back over the previous year.

It had been rich and sweet beyond his wildest dreams. When his father had returned from a lengthy business trip in the early Spring, there was a marked difference in his countenance. It did not take him long to share with his family the wonderful transformation that Jesus Christ has wrought in his life. Neither did it take long for his wife and 6 precious children to embrace the amazing love that had wrought such an amazing change in the leader of their household. Though a happy home before, it now rang with the love and joy that spilled forth from lives that were experiencing cleansed hearts and daily filling by Christ.

His mind blissfully ran over their times together... Double-back horse rides with his younger brother Willie. Deep conversations with his oldest brother into the wee morning hours. Business outings with his father. Homemade taffy tested from the warm, homey kitchen of his dear mother. Water fights with his twin sister in the creek behind the house. That sister that was dearer to him than life itself...

It had been hard to give her up to Peter this past fall, but he rejoiced in the new glow on her face, and the happiness he observed in their newly set up home. He particularly rejoiced in the expectation of a niece or nephew later that summer. Though he missed having her sunny presence in their home, his heart was filled with gratefulness that her and Peter lived just a few short minutes walk away. He was often found there sampling her cookies, teasing her incessantly, and just enjoying her company. How he thanked God for her...

It didn't take his mind long to turn to the new sunny presence that now filled his life almost to overflowing. She had become the world to him. Though he was not allowed to seek her hand until his 23rd birthday this fall, the knowledge that she too cared for him gave wings to his feet and a continual song in his heart. How he rejoiced in this gift from God, and the blessings bestowed upon him far greater than he had asked or could ever hope to deserve. Blessings that his heart could hardly contain...

With a wrench in his stomach, he was jerked back to the here and now. To his decision. To the request that had come that early morning. Would he come and fill a gap left in the mission their church supported in Papua New Guinea? An unexpected death had left a pressing need. Could he give two years of his life in service to the Indians and to the Lord is this way? Could he leave in two weeks?

These question filled his heart to the breaking point. He had asked the Lord to use him and send him where He would. As he had spent time seeking the Lord, God had filled his heart with a longing to be used in the salvation of souls. But now? There? So soon? He was only a year old in the faith. What did he have to give? What did he know? What about his life here? His family? His sweetheart? Had not God given him these things to be cherished and enjoyed? Just when life seemed at it's best, he was being asked to sacrifice what was dearest to him? To go so far away and have so little communication with home? To a hot climate, an unfamiliar language, and a primitive people? "God, is this really Your will?"

The night's shadows were now deep as he continued wrestling with these questions. A phrase from a song sung the evening before at church played through his mind, and he struggled to remember the words. As they slowly came back to his memory, the full impact of their message struck him.

I will sing the wondrous story

of the Christ Who died for me.

How He left His home in glory

For the cross of Calvary.

Left His home? Just like I'm being asked to do. But, in GLORY? In exchange for what? Glory and acclaim here on earth. No... No!!

All of a sudden it hit him. For a cross.

The immensity of this revelation hit him like a ton of bricks and drove him to his face before his Lord. "The love. The compassion. For me?? This is what God did for me??" The triumphant and praise filled verses of this great hymn bore down on him with a power and joy unmatched by anything he had yet experienced in his twelve month walk with the Lord.

I was LOST but Jesus found me,

Found the sheep that went astray.

Threw His loving arms around me,

Drew me back into His way.

I was bruised, but Jesus healed me!

Faint was I from many a fall.

Sight was gone and fears possessed me,

But He freed me from them all.

Full understanding now hit him as he realized why he had been found, drawn, and healed, and saved by Jesus Christ. Following in Christ's footsteps took on a new meaning to Him as he understood what was Christ's purpose in coming to this earth. In a small measure, he thought he could now catch just a glimpse as to what Christ gave up to save the souls of men. How could he say no to his Lord after such a revelation? How could he pass up the opportunity to share in a small way of the sufferings of Christ?

The moon was high in the sky as the clear, radiant face below was lifted to heaven with praise and gratefulness. Peace now reigned in his heart, and as he said "yes," the assurance was great that his sacrifice was acceptable and pleasing to his Lord. With a heart too overflowing to be quiet, his strong voice rang out over the hillside in a heartfelt pledge,

"YES, I'll sing the wondrous story

Of the Christ who died for me.

Sing it with the saints in glory

Gathered by the crystal sea."

Every word was meant, and he now knew he would be singing and preaching this story for the rest of his earthly days and on into eternity. As his firm footsteps traveled the well-worn path back home, through the window ahead he heard the grandfather clock ring out twelve clear sounds. With a start he realized what day it was. "How appropriate," he mused, for Easter morning had just dawned in his heart as well.

"Ponder anew what the Almighty can do" - Pt. 3

2010-03-31T22:15:00.009-05:00

Visits and visitors were what made up most of any variety of life in Guagueyvo. Our daily schedule was pretty predictable most of the week, but a visit by any of the villagers called a cease to all tasks at hand, and full attention was given to them. Often, I would be kneading bread, helping the children with school, or bent over my Spanish grammar book, when the call would come up from one of the children. "We have visitors!" They were never wrong.

Unannounced, unscheduled, and varying in length, we never knew what to expect. There were only two things that were always predictable. Their greeting, and their departure. "Cuida," their only "hello," though oftentimes given shyly, was never neglected. Even the smallest children were trained to be polite, and all who were able went to each one in the host family and shook their hand. The Tarahumara greeting is rather unique - just a slight brush of the hand, or the fingertips if that person if excessively timid.

Marivele and her family.

I always enjoyed Marivele's visit's. The little nine-year-old goat girl would often stop in both on her way to and back from the nearby ungrazed mountains, bringing her herd of around 30 goats with her. Completely illiterate and uneducated, her life revolved around the menial tasks of bare survival. Despite this, there was a sparkle in her eyes, and a spunkiness that dared to use the few Spanish phrases she knew. She would often only stay for a few minutes and a cookie, and then dash out the door, calling out "Sakatan Tur" and "Adista!" The first is a customary phrase always spoken on departure essentially "giving back" the chair that was lent to sit on. The last is their only farewell.

The girl with the red blouse is Marivelle.

Oftentimes, the visitors would be women coming to see Yolanda. Extremely shy, most of them would sit for an hour or two, accepting the traditionally given Nescafe (instant coffee) and a bit of food or baked goodies, but offering little in the way of conversation. The Gospel would always be shared with them, whether in the form of direct conversation, the wordless book, prayer, or singing.

Singing and music was a huge part of the Byler home. Designated morning and evening singing times were regularly kept, and it was pretty much assumed that we would sing for most visitors. I was glad! Though I couldn't communicate much with my limited Spanish, I could sing the Spanish songs I knew. Every evening, we gathered outside on their little dirt patio outside the house, and sang for 15-20 minutes over the village.

Yolanda and I would frequently go to visit other houses. Most of these were fairly local, but the occasional 45 minutes hikes didn't bother me one bit. :-) Sometimes down the mountain, sometimes up the mountain, and sometimes around... This part of the Copper Canyon is about the most rugged in the area, and the hiking is not for the faint of heart! I enjoyed the exercise immensely, though, and couldn't help but often think of all the poor people back in WI stuck inside because of the snow. :-)

The type of stove they do
all their cooking on.

They use this machine to grind their
corn for tortillas.

The culinary experiences these visits provided weren't as interesting as they could have been, but I definitely came back with stories to tell. Thankfully, the people's diet is very simple, and I greatly enjoyed the homemade tortillas and beans served 75% of the time. Any sort of meat I generally tried to fish around, but sometimes the strong billy goat flavor in soup was just not avoidable. :-) Dirty dishes and lukewarm food and coffee added to the experience, and at times provided me with extra reasons to silently ask God's blessing and protection over my food.

Hiking down to the river.

One of the highlights of my trip to Guagueyvo was my trip with Elisha and a few others down the river to have a Bible study with the 7 believers. Every Thursday, the 8-mile hike is made to meet with these baby Christians. The 7200 feet descended and then climbed again tested all the levels of my endurance, but it was so worth it to observe the simple faith in the lives of these believers, and their enthusiastic, though oftentimes off-key singing. Seeing Elisha's dedication in making this weekly trip was also a challenge to me. What am I willing to give of myself, not only that people may hear the Gospel, but also that they may grow and be discipled in the ways of God?

Most of these adults are the believers at the river.

Mid-way through my two month stay there, we help tent-meetings near the village center for a weekend. This was a highlight for me, as I not only was able to play the small keyboard for the music there, but I got company for three days! Four ENGLISH speaking girls and a young family drove out to help with the tent meetings. The girls taught a Bible club for the children, and also provided me with some much-craved fellowship. Though I had never met three of them before, our spirits connected in a deep way, and provided much-appreciated challenge and encouragement.

The four girl along with the Byler's oldest daughter teaching a
Bible verse at the tent meetings.

Rapt attention was give as Andrea gave the Bible story.

The children enjoyed candy afterwards.

One highlight of their stay was an assignment we were given by Elisha. He had been given large amounts of groceries for the widow ladies in the area, and these needed to be distributed. In America, this would be easy, but when you are considering a 45 minute hike and bags of flour, beans, pasta, and soap, many hands (and backs) is a welcome help. I was assigned as the leader of the group since I (supposedly) knew the way to this widow ladies house. To make a long story short, we had quite the adventure getting lost, hunting down one of the women, walking in on a beer party, and getting stuck in a downpour. Cold and wet, but happy, we straggled back home, overjoyed to find Yolanda making a rare treat! Homemade hot chocolate! :-)

Sonya, Zaida, Andrea, Me, and Gloria ready to distribute groceries.

Our hearts were well-satisfied with the task that had been given us, but at the same time, yearning with the burden for lost souls. So many of these people are hungry, but not yet desperate. Open, yet not willing to make the sacrifice to give their all and follow Christ. Sick of their current life, but still bound in the snares of drugs, alcohol, and Spirit-worship. Or worse yet, loving their life, satisfied with the pleasures of sin, and wanting nothing to do with Christ, Christianity, or change. Pray with me that God would not only open the hearts of these thousands of Indians, but that He would send more laborers into this immensely needy field...

I'll wrap up this series next time with a post on some final memories. Thanks everyone for your patience!

Loaves and Fishes Principle

2010-03-24T07:19:00.003-05:00

"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men: Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance; for ye serve the Lord Christ." Col. 3:23

"If you want to make your life count, give all you have - give the best you have - and do whatever you do for the Lord. Be an ordinary person living your life to the fullest for an extraordinary God. If you will offer God your very best, He will take it, multiply it, and make it a blessing to many. "

"Whatever the cost, it will be worth it all."

-Joy Punnoose

*I'm hoping to resume blogging about Mexico in the near future. Pressing obligations (namely study/school) have kept me from having concentrated writing time. Hopefully this weekend! :-)

"Ponder anew what the Almighty can do" Pt. 2

2010-03-05T22:27:00.005-06:00

My first morning in Guagueyvo was an early one, despite our rigorous travel the day before. One thing I learned quickly was that the days always started early in the Byler home. Sleeping in was unknown in word and actuality. Though it was not always easy pulling myself out of my warm blankets at 5:00am every morning, I grew to deeply appreciate this quiet, still time of seeking the Lord. Something about those early morning, peaceful hours are very precious... At times I would conquer my laziness and urge a fire to life in the little stove in my bedroom. Other times, the nuisance seemed too much and I would just bundle up against the morning chill. This early morning bite certainly aided my senses in staying alert! :-)

My room was simple, bordering on primitive, but a very welcome haven nonetheless. The Byler's had built this room on as an addition to their 12x24 foot house. It was entered from the outside, and was also home to their canned goods, many mice, and an occasional centipede or scorpion. These creatures gave me much grief of heart and mind at first... The mice merely from their nuisance and the loud racket they would make at night, and the poisonous creatures from the horror stories the natives would tell of their bites. In my naive northern mind, they were certainly lurking in every dark corner, waiting for unsuspecting me to walk past so they could jump out. :-) Yes, silly, I know, but they were fears I had to deal with. Jesus' promise to us of power over scorpions in Luke 10:19 because very personal and precious to me during that trip!

Despite the fact that I had to share this haven with unwanted creatures, this room became a place to seek the Lord earnestly. For my own needs and direction, and for the indigenous people group I was now living among. As I have already written some of the history of these Indians from my first trip three years ago, I won't go into it here, but suffice it to say they are a nearly completely unreached people group. Though I could not speak their language, I could pray for them, and I was there to serve alongside the Byler's as they lived and worked every day among this fairly primitive Indian tribe.

Our day together started at 6:45 when we would meet for corporate prayer. We also met together every evening before bed. These were times of intercession for whatever the Lord laid on our heart. I was encouraged and challenged deeply through these times, and convinced of the absolute necessity of prayer in a Christian's life, not only for his own spiritual well-being, but for effective ministry. This was fairly new ground for me spiritually, but God's presence was so near tenderly teaching me, and I rejoice to say that God answered some specific requests in beautiful and exciting ways. This was extremely faith-strengthening for me, and encouraged me to pursue after God in this way more faithfully.

Praise to the Lord, who over all things so wondrously reigneth,

Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!

Hast thou not seen how thy desires ever have been

Granted in what He ordaineth?

Breakfast followed this time of seeking God, then family devotions and singing. I generally helped with housework and the children's schooling during the early and mid-morning hours, and spent the late morning and early afternoon in language study. Paying and receiving visits were a regular part of our week, generally in the afternoon, but flexibility was the key word. No two days were the same, and our loosely planned scheduled could change drastically with the visit of one person....

Meditations from Mexico

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"For if the word spoken by angels was steadfast, and every transgression and disobedience received a just recompense of reward; How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation?" - Hebrews 2:2-3a

Many unbelievers question how that God, whom Christians claim to be one of love, could send anyone to hell for all of eternity. The answer is simple. It is the only consequence severe enough to match the crime of man's rejection of the most immense and lavish gift God could have bestowed upon man. The consequence of rejection and unbelief reveals to us how great was the sacrifice Christ made and how precious the offering of His blood was.

Ye that think of sin but lightly,

Nor suppose the evil great;

Here may view it's nature rightly,

Here it's guilt may estimate.

Mark the sacrifice appointed;

See who bears the awful load.

"Tis the Word, the Lord's anointed;

Son of man and Son of God.

-Thomas Kelley

"Ponder anew what the Almighty can do" Pt. 1

2010-02-21T18:11:00.011-06:00

In these next few posts I wish to share a bit about my time in Mexico. The title comes from a song the Lord brought close to my heart during my stay there. Snippets of "Praise to the Lord" would run through my head at various times, but I could never remember exactly what song it was the words were from. During the end of my stay, I was introduced to Fernando Ortega's beautiful version of it, and I was surprised to discover several additional verses of the old hymn that I was not familiar with. In looking up the entire song today, I was blessed to find that many of the stanzas described so aptly the beautiful lessons God brought to my heart during my 2 1/2 months away from home.

My trip started out about 3:00am on December 3rd when my parents and one brave sister drove me the 90 minutes to the airport. I felt brain-dead as I climbed on my 6:18 flight. Whether it was a combination of excitement, drinking coffee too late, or a heart full of a wonderful sermon I heard that evening, it kept me tossing and turning the precious 4 hours I had in my bed. :-) In picking between a greater degree of brain-deadness, or a sore neck from trying to sleep during my flight, I chose the sore neck. :-) One last Starbucks perked me up a tad during my Colorado layover, and phone calls back home and texting friends kept my brain from shutting down completely.

I arrived in El Paso, TX shortly after 1:00, and was met an hour later by the family I was to live with for the next 2 months. We drove around El Paso for the next four hours doing last minute shopping, and then prepared to cross the border. Around 5:00 the unthinkable happened. Sparing you all the nitty gritty details, we got in a car accident. For any of you who have driven in El Paso, you can maybe understand when I say the driving was crazy. Our vehicle was completely fine, but the other vehicle totaled. We still stand in awe that no one sustained even minor injuries.

Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper thy work and defend thee;
Surely His goodness and mercy here daily attend thee.

After many hours of waiting to get insurance papers filled out, etc., we finally crossed the border late that evening. We had several hours to drive yet that night, everyone was exhausted, and amidst various other factors, my visa paperwork was not taken care of properly. This was the cause of much worry on many sides, but the Lord was once again faithful, and we saw Him work out the details in an encouraging way.

Praise to the Lord, who over all things so wondrously reigneth,

Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!

We spent the evening with a sweet family in Cuautemoc, and I enjoyed my last shower for awhile. The unfamiliar and strange surroundings were

starting to overwhelm me a bit, but thankfully, that did not last long. Before long, my adventuresome spirit returned, and it was with much anticipation we hit the road again with a truck full of groceries, a tank full of gas, and a ten hour drive ahead of us. The small truck with it's bed full of supplies proved a challenge with the seven passengers, but we managed ok. :-) Hey, it was Mexico. ;-)

After several hundred miles, bumps enough to turn any dairy in our stomachs into sour cream, we arrived in Guagueyvo, Chihuahua, MX at sunset. The rugged mountains glowed in rich hues, and small fires were seen dotting the hill-sides. I was introduced to my little rock-walled room, and shortly after nightfall, we retired and fell into exhausted sleep....