This month has been one of the happiest of my life. There have been times that I've been skeptical if my heart can contain any more joy. I sometimes wonder if a heart has a bursting level, and I feel quite honestly that mine is sometimes at a dangerous level of pressure.
You may wonder why. The answer is quite simple. I've become reacquainted with the Love of my life in a brand new way, and have fallen head over heels. He's more than I ever dreamed possible. He has filled me with a joy deeper than I could have imagined. A renewed purpose for living. A new direction in life. A new spring in my step. A brand new avenue to throw my energies into.
You see, I have dreamed for a long time of being loved unconditionally. Of pouring my heart and life into one person. Of living for the joy and delight of the man who succeeded in winning my heart. As the years have gone by, some of these desires have been met with the nagging question, "Is it really even possible? Am I building castles in the sky that are only going to be met with disappointment?"
Today I can testify with an overflowing heart that He has not disappointed me. God has not disappointed me. He has mercifully not yet granted me the blessing of earthly love, while at the same time, showing me the far greater and infinitely more satisfying love He has to offer. So often I have acted like His love was not enough. That His tender care could not satisfy me fully. In my head I knew He wanted me to make Him my all, but could I really trust Him to give me what my heart craved?
Despite my failure to trust my Lord completely, His relentless pursuit of me puts the best of romance novels in the garbage heap. His perfect gifts outshine anything I could imagine up or go create myself. His daily presence surpasses the closest friendship I have known, for He has promised to never, ever leave my side. He satisfies my deep yearning to love and be loved. That satisfaction is deeper than the best of human relationships could ever hope to accomplish.
Did I mention that I was happy? Giddy with near girlish excitement would be a better way to put it. To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that no human love can ever, ever surpass this priceless treasure He has bestowed on me is almost more than I can take in. This kind of love is what brings forth my deep-seated passion to give Him my all and serve Him. Always. Forever.
My Savior's love has won my heart, and I am satisfied. Happier than I ever thought was possible this side of heaven.
"Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn thee." Jeremiah 31:3