Saturday, January 17, 2009

A quick note...

When I left my home 19 days ago, I thought that blogging wouldn't be a problem. Even with the knowledge the my NC vacation was going to be largely without internet, I figured I would still be able to sneak a post in here and there. Well... I guess you've got the results. :-)

Anyway, plans are looking likely that I will be leaving the country in the next couple days. Internet-less, cellphone-less... :-) Needless to say, I won't be blogging here for nearly another month.  :-)

I think I'll have plenty of stories to tell once I return back to US soil. :-)

Till then!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Not satisfied

Last year's New Year's Day reflections held a song by Abigail Miller, and so will this one. Thanks to a dear friend, I received her most recent cd as a Christmas gift, and it has blessed me more than words can say. More than anything else, I want to live with the heart of this song as the theme of this entire next year. 

The theme of dissatisfaction. Not with life, not with circumstances, and not with the things I have no control over, but dissatisfaction to stay in the same place. Not content to "settle down" in my walk with the Lord. To stop striving. To rest on a supposed plateau. I want the next year to be marked with an evident pressing forward. A deepening of my knowledge of God's heart. A quicker ear to hear His voice and promptings upon my heart.  A greater desire to give my all for Him and for souls no matter what the personal cost to myself. 

I don't want to be content in relationships. I want my siblings to know they have a precious place in my heart that is never satisfied to "give them their time" and then live my own life. I want to always be growing in respect, honor, and openness with my parents. I don't ever want to act like I've arrived in that area. I want my friends to know and experience what it means to be loved unconditionally. I want to learn how to completely let go of offenses, hurts, and stressful situations, and to live and love as Christ did. 

I don't want to be content with unanswered prayer any longer. I pray for Him to work in my life, and I don't want to be satisfied with a mediocre walk. I want Him to work in my family's life, and I don't want to be content with Satan tarnishing something that could be beautiful. I don't want to be content in seeing my unsaved acquaintances remain that way.  I want to know God's heart, know His will, and believe Him to work in amazing ways. 

There's much more I could add, but I am going to close with the precious words from this song. Will you join me in this new year, asking God for a holy dissatisfaction, and trusting Him for heights, depths, and joys you never dreamed of? 

"Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do. forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:12-14

Unfamiliar Grace

I am not satisfied to stand upon this place;
Not contented with a measure of familiar grace.
I want to go beyond the things I've always known;
The ground I stand upon is but a stepping stone.

I am not satisfied to live a little life;
To know a little glory, to possess a little love, my Christ. 
The height where I aspire, and my soul's deep desire
Is to be dwelling in the realm of holy fire.

So many seem to settle for the things that they can see;
Walking in the shadow of the glory there could be.
But I will never rest until I touch the unseen hand
Who'll take me far beyond what I can understand.

Lord lift me higher, bring me closer to your face,
For I want to know an unfamiliar grace.
Your love is wider and deeper than the sea,
And yet so near to me.
I need to know your unfamiliar grace.

-Abigail Miller